Who's The Hostage?
by EDelta88
Summary: After losing to Sasuke at the Valley of the End Naruto is recovering when an incident with a villager makes him believe that he is a danger to his friends, he decides to leave but nothing ever goes as planned when he's followed. NaruxHina
1. Shatter Point

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Currently my ingeniously over complicated plan to own Naruto has fallen through

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

_'Dammit teme-no-kitsune, shut the fuck up.'_

"**It's your own damn fault kit."**

_'I didn't ask for your opinion!'_

"**Weeeeell~ ya kinda did, and I quote 'Kyuubi a little help here!'."**

_'God dammit! Why does he have to be so smart?'_

"**Well, I'm a couple thousand years older than you that might have something to do with it." **

_'How did I get in to this mess?'_

"**Well it all started when..."**

* * *

**Prologue**

**_Gates of Konoha, Post Sasuke Retrieval Mission_**

_Just outside the walls of Konoha a barely conscious, battered, bloodied, and broken Uzumaki Naruto barely clung to consciousness as his sensei, Hatake Kakashi, carried him out of the woods abreast of the medic team carrying the more injured members of what would come to be known as the Sasuke retrieval team._

_Awaiting them at the gate was a rather small crowd of people, most of which were hoping to see Uchiha Sasuke but, unfortunately, Sasuke had escaped and was somewhere in Rice country right now. Some people among the crowd were there to help the retrieval team, among them were Haruno Sakura the soon-to-be apprentice to the Gondaime, said Hokage (Tsunade), Shizune (Tsunade's other apprentice), and the members of the rookie nine and Team Gai that had not been sent on the retrieval mission. All of which where surprised to see the extensive damage to the last retrieval team member being carried in his sensei's arms._

_Uzumaki Naruto, who should have been down and out, hell he should have been dead several times over, but unlike nearly all the other members of his team was somehow still fighting the urge to pass out._

_The look on Naruto's face was mask of failure and depression. How was he going to tell Sakura-chan? _

_"I couldn't bring him back..." _

_"I failed..." _

_"I couldn't do it..." _

_These words and more passed through his mind as he tried to find the right thing to say but, sadly, he was out of time._

_"Naruto, what-?" Sakura started. She sounded rather concerned but, before could continue, Naruto interrupted her._

_Even though the look on his face said it, he felt he had to say it himself. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan... I cou...couldn't..." He never was able to finish as, at that moment, his body finally gave out. _

_As his azure blue eyes rolled into the back of his head, Naruto could hear people yelling as he fought a losing battle to hold on to consciousness._

_"...RUTO!"_

_"SHIT! HE'S...WE NEED A...NOW!"_

_"GET...HOSPITAL...MOVE IT!"_

_...and then all was darkness_

* * *

Chapter 1: Shatter Point

"**Oh yeah... this is how we were thrown in to this whole mess!"**

_'Furball, do you have one helpful thought in you body? Or whatever it is that you are now?'_

"**Not a one kit, thanks for asking, though. You could ask your '**_**hostage'**_** to help you."**

_'God damn scheming little furry bastard-wait, did you hear something?'_

"Naruto-kun, where are youuu?"

_'SHIT! She found me!'_

* * *

**_Konoha General Hospital, Room 42_**

Blinding pain. Pure and simple, the first thing that Naruto felt when he woke up. And of course, that didn't exactly sit well with the blonde haired ninja.

_'Why does it feel like I was on the receiving end of one of Baa-chan's fists?' _

"Y**ou may remember a certain emo-looking, kunai-with-exploding-tag-up-his-ass punk who ran you through with a ball of screeching birds?"**

_'That's right…wait...SINCE WHEN CAN YOU TALK TO ME OUTSIDE THE SEAL!'_

**"Since ever, I just didn't have a reason to,"** Kyuubi answered before going silent.

But without Kyuubi distracting him Naruto was left to brood and for a long time after that Naruto just lay in his bed staring unseeingly at the ceiling, he had failed. He had promised to bring his friend back and he had failed…

"-I don't care what you say he did! You _will_ let me in to see him! Even if it means this hallway gets a fresh coat of red paint!" someone yelled from the hall.

"Y-y-y-yes H-h-h-Hyuuga-sama," now that would be 'just-shit-his-pants asshole orderly #42.'

To Naruto's surprise the door opened, and in strode a girl of roughly thirteen in a tan jacket with dark indigo blue hair and blank white eyes. It was Hinata, he realized... well, sort of. It was definitely Hinata, kunoichi member of Team 8, but this was a side of her that Naruto had never seen before. The Hinata he was used to would have her head down and be stuttering uncontrollably whereas this Hinata seemed to be a mixture of confident (most likely due to excessive irritation via uncooperative hospital staff), pissed, and one-hundred percent pure she-demon.

In too much of a rage to notice much of anything, Hinata marched into the room and planted herself firmly in a chair opposite the door muttering some incoherent nonsense about ignorant fools running around in green pajamas.

* * *

**_Inside Naruto's mind scape_**

Naruto felt his tenant let out something akin to a purr followed with **"Helloooooooooo, Beautiful.**"

Why Kyuubi was acting this way? He would never know... not that he tried particularly hard to find out.

* * *

**_Back in Naruto's Hospital Room_**

Shizune came in several minutes later, presumably to check on Naruto's condition, she smiled as she noticed that he was awake.

"Oh Naruto-kun, you're up," spoke Shizune.

Hinata, who up to now had been glaring holes in the ground, went from her state of 'SILENCE! I _kill_ you!' back to her usual stuttering self in the time it took for her to raise her head.

"N-Naruto-kun?" she said surprise written across her face. "H-how long have you been a-awake?"

"Since a little before you chewed out that guy in the hall," he answered not taking his eyes off the ceiling, consequently he didn't see when Hinata turned the color of a red delicious.

"Y-you heard th-that?" she asked in a very small voice as she became rather interested in the flooring.

"Yep! Remind me never to get you mad at me," he chuckled meaning it as a joke but when he didn't get a reply he glanced to the side. Why did she look like that? She looked defeated, almost ashamed. "Oi, what's with the long face?"

"You m-must think I'm a t-terrible person to talk like that..." She sounded like she was about to cry.

Naruto was thick as a brick, unperceptive, and socially retarded but there was one thing he could do better that anyone else, cheer people up in the most unorthodox and random fashion jinchuurikily possible.

_WHOOMPH!_

Suddenly Hinata was assaulted by the soft fluffy whiteness of Naruto's pillow. Caught totally off guard, the lavender eyed girl stared at the heavily bandaged boy in surprise.

"I will have no 'sad' in my hospital room! It's bad juju," Naruto proclaimed, brandishing his pillow like a sword.

"But-"

_WHOOMPH!_

"NO BUTS!" he yelled.

By this point Shizune who had been watching in utter amazement spoke up.

"Naruto, you really shouldn't be moving right now... Actually, I don't know how you're moving at all right now without being in screaming agony," she said with a frown. She knew he healed fast because of the fox but this was ridiculous!

"What are you talking about that hurt like hell," Naruto replied, his voice as flat as Sakura's chest.

_Face Vault_

"Then why did you do it?" Shizune asked incredulously.

"Hinata-chan was sad," he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, which for him it was.

All Shizune could do was shake her head in disbelief as she looked him over checking exactly how far along he was.

_'Naruto-kun,'_ thought Hinata, smiling despite herself. _'You're amazing Naruto-kun. Always thinking of and helping others even when you're in so much pain.'_

"Ok from the looks of it you'll be ready to start moving around in about two weeks so for you tomorrow," she paused, "So seeing as this is Naruto we're talking about, Hinata you'll be here tomorrow around 7:00."

"What was that about Hinata-chan?" asked Naruto, thoroughly confused as to why she would be coming into the hospital. Had she gotten a job there? It would make sense if that cream she had given him during the preliminaries was anything to go by.

"Oh, umm, I'm supposed to take you around to help you get used to moving your legs again," Hinata answered shyly.

"Moving my legs again? What happened?" Naruto asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

"During your attempt to retrieve Sasuke-san the amount of chakra in your legs disrupted the regular circulation patterns and rendered you unable to move your legs. The flow is, for the most part, back to normal. The damage done to other areas of your legs healed, you just have to learn how to use them again."

* * *

**_Two weeks later_**

Naruto was back in his apartment and almost back to normal, he just had a few balancing, equilibrium, and bending issues to work out. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your opinion, those problems were just the right combination so that he still couldn't dress himself very easily, so the duty fell to his 'volunteer assistant' though the way it was going he would be fine by the end of the day.

After getting him up and dressed, much to the embarrassment of all those involved, and after they made their daily trip to the hospital, otherwise known as "The deepest pit of hell," they were walking/hobbling towards the gate i.e. on their way to Ichiraku ramen. The way there though was, as a certain Nara would put it "Troublesome", just about every villager on the way there called him 'demon', 'bastard' or, his personal favorite, 'Traitor'. Apparently, trying to _stop _a missing-nin-to-be and almost getting killed in the process is considered a traitorous offense in Konohagakure.

Arriving at the stand, Naruto had his usual ten bowl order plus one for Hinata. After having a little talk with the old-man and 'Ayame nee-chan' the 'couple' (as Ayame had dubbed them) began their way back, much to Naruto's protest.

Hinata still couldn't understand why Naruto was treated this badly, it made no sense, sure he was a loud and a prankster but that shouldn't constitute this level of abuse. Yet he just brushed it off like it was nothing...like it was normal.

Naruto himself didn't mind this too much. As long as he kept his happy mask up around Hinata, or anyone else for that matter, everything would all be fine, right? Then, as luck would happen to have it, one of the nins who had lost everything during the attack 13 years ago (seriously, this guy lost his wife, three kids, his dog, and every thing else that night) wobbled out of a bar, we're talking completely sloshed, saw the pair and made the one remark he'd regret for the rest of his short existence. "Hey everybody look! The demon got himself a whore!"

Hinata, being the kind and unhurtful girl she was, just let this roll off her shoulders, the man was obviously too drunk to know what he was saying he was probably making a mistake.

Naruto, however, heard this and stopped dead in his tracks, his face going from cheery happy-go-lucky to a cold scowl as he began to turn around to face the man who had spoken.

EDITED: 7/1/12

* * *

**End Notes**

Ok revised and up hope you like it (Now taken over by Delta)

Author's note: Well finally chapter 2 is up. To those of you who are wondering why I took story down, at the time, it just wasn't getting anywhere. So delta, being the lukewarm-hearted sonovabitch he is, convinced me to take it down until got _some_ progress on the story. Thank you to all who read, review if ya feel like it and flames will be used to fuel this story and roast marsh mellows. Oh yeah my little sadist of a, use-human-skin-to-wallpaper-my-room-and-make-a-doormat-with sister says "hi". EEEEEEPPPPPPPP knives and pointy things of death, **Runs away in search of his buffy-proof-bunker that was constructed months ago**

Delta-mmm can we make smores?

**Cliff Notes**

(1) Chidori translates to "1000 birds" or something like that, dumb thing to name a jutsu.


	2. And it's all Downhill From Here

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

oturaN nwo t'nod I

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 2: And It's all Downhill from here**

**"I remember this part."**

_'Were you even awake at this part?' _

**"First, I don't sleep. Second, who do you think sent the images."**

_'Oh stuff a seal in it teme…wait…YOU DID THAT!'_

**"Well sort of, you started it. I just... helped it along for my own amusement.**** What? You thought you thought up all that stuff on your own?"**

'_God damn worthless pigmy shit mother fucken sorry excuse for a vertebrate...'_

"**I heard that Gaki."**

_'And just what are you going to do about it you oversized dust bunny?_'

* * *

_**Streets of Konoha**_

As Naruto turned fully intending to disembowel the offending drunkard, Hinata's head snapped forward from the impact of a brick hitting the back of her skull. For Naruto this triggered a cascade of every gruesome and disturbing dark thought or scene he had ever imagined to flash before his eyes.

Sakura. Beaten and raped, laying in the street like yesterday's garbage.

_'Stop it,' _he thought trying to ward off the offending images.

Neji. Writhing on the ground in pain. His eyes ripped out and the caged bird seal burning on his forehead.

_'Please stop,' _he pleaded but the images kept coming.

Kiba and Akamaru. Crawling towards some unknown detestation, a trail of blood behind both of them.

_'It's not funny anymore.' _

Iruka. Strung up in front of the academy, whole body limp. An angry mob around his feet.

'_STOP!'_

Ayame and the old man. Bound and beaten as their precious stand burns around them.

_'STOP IT!'_

Hinata. Beaten, raped. Writhing on the ground in the middle of a mob. Mouthing his name.

_'I SAID-' _

What came next couldn't be classified as even a mumble. "Hinata, I'm sorry." With that, Konohagakure's number one most unpredictable ninja walked back into the heart of the village.

"Feh, what not gonna follow him ya filthy little whore," called a villager from the now gathered crowd.

"Sir do you know what makes me different from you," Hinata asked smiling sweetly at the villager that had spoken.

"What?"

"At the end of the day I take a warm bath and I'm as pure and clean as the day I was born, you on the other hand, no amount of water will ever wash away your filth."

With that, the pale eyed beauty ran off to find the depressed demon container.

* * *

EDITED: 7/1/12

Muse/Author's rant: LETS HEAR IT FOR INSOMNIA PEOPLE! Seriously this whole story has been written after at least one in the morning. The story is really comin along here. All reviews will be graciously accepted. Flames will be used as building blocks for this story and used in conjunction with bug spray to ignite the mosquitoes on my back porch.

Delta's rant: ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz hn? Oh, WHAT BUG SPRAY! You fool, lighter fluid in a squirt gun is much more fun. But on a slightly more serious note: the story is coming along well. To be honest this one has been tricky as hell since we're trying to keep it original. POLL: 1-5(5sweet 1crap) on Hinata's line at the end.


	3. Damned if I do Damned if I don't

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

If I owned Naruto why would I need a disclaimer

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Damned if I Do. Damned if I Don't**

"**I'm surprised kit, here you grew some stones and took a hostage."**

_'Kyuubi-teme, If I have to tell you one more time to shut-up, I'll-'_

"**You'll what kit? Not talk to me for a while? I can see it now: 'Oh Naruto-sama, please speak to me, It's been to long, I need somebody to talk to' Is that really the best you've got?**

_'Can I finish now?'_

"**I don't know, **_**can**_** you.**"

_'God damn smartass grammatically correct bastard.'_

**"A few mellenia can do that to you."**

_'As I was saying, if you don't put a cork in it I will find a way to relocate the seal, and by extension you, to my ass.'_

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOO, ANYTHING BUT THAT! PUT ME IN YOUR LIVER, APPENDIX, KIDNEY, ANYTHING BUT THAT!" **

_'...Are you mocking me?'_

**"Maybe."**

* * *

**_Konoha, Outer Wall_**

It was dusk. The sun was halfway below the horizon and the guards would be changing shifts any minute now. In the short gap between shifts, Uzumaki Naruto would be over the wall and off in to the woods without anybody the wiser. Well, he hoped it would go that way. Truth be told he could be very quiet and sneaky when he wanted to (years as a prankster, the subsequent evading of prank victims, and being village punching bag will tend to do that)

Even as he waited for the watch to change Naruto debated his actions.

_'I can't just leave like this people will worry, then again most of them hate me, but what about Baa-chan and the others?'_ he thought but then he remembered why he was doing this in the first place_, 'The villagers are starting to target those close to me now that they can't get to me directly so if I'm gone their safe,' _he reasoned. Then it was time.

In a matter of seconds he was up, over the walls and into the dense foliage on the other side. Stopping for a moment he was making sure his pack was secure before heading out when he heard something that made him freeze in his tracks.

"N-Naruto-kun?"

He turned and just a few feet behind him, a look of mixed confusion and disbelief adorning her face, stood Hinata staring at him.

He couldn't move, hide or anything as his mind worked feverishly to grasp the situation. What was she doing here, when did she get here, why was she here, would she stop him, had she told anyone.

_'Damn it. How the hell did she find me?' _

"**If I'm not mistaken, those eyes of her's aren't just for looks, no?"**(pun very much intended)

_'Yoko-bastard... why, at a time like this, would you decide to talk to me?'_

"**Well, I'm all for leaving the village, gaki. Good job, by the way, with evading the guards without getting caught and finding that hole in the detection field. At this point you have three options-"**

_'And they would be what exactly?' _

"**As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted." **At this Naruto jumped a little.

"**Gaki, you have three choices. One: you run now and leave this girl to tell the large chested one that you left while you run like hell. Two: you kill her, hide the body and go on your merry way. Or, three: you knock this girl out and take her along. Personally I'm partial to the second choice."**

'_Killing her is completely out of the question fox and you should know that.'_

"**Foo, you no fun. Well in that case my vote goes to the subdue and drag along."**

_'And how, pray tell, would I do that without causing a shit load of noise? A master of the Shushin no Jutsu, I am not.' _

"**And here I thought you knew Kage Bunshin. Silly me," **with that there was nothing but the rattling of Naruto's own mind inside his head. Though, just with the rattling, he had a plan at a rather fast pace.

As he brought up his hands in the all too familiar seal, Hinata started wondering what exactly was going on inside the head of her crush. As she was about to move towards him, she hear a _poof _behind her before everything went black.

_Thump, _as her eyes rolled back into her head(not that we can tell) Hinata's body went limp. The bunshin caught her, handed her off to Naruto and then disappeared in the same fashion it was created with.

_'So I have her, now what?'_

"**She'll have her uses kit." **

_'HENTAI-KITSUNE!' _

"**NOT LIKE THAT GAKI! Think of her as a bargaining chip of sorts."**

_'Run that by me again, I have the distinct impression that I'm missing something.' _

"**If, and when, the Large-Chested-One and/or the Merry Band of Old Codgers send the masked ones, I believe you call them ABU or some such gibberish, after your scrawny ass, having her gives you a little bit of leverage with your opponents. I mean, they don't want you to kill the heiress to the all powerful Huuga clan, or sell her, and by extension those interesting eyes of hers, to another village."**

_'But I wouldn't kill Hinata and I sure as HELL wouldn't sell her to an enemy village or anyone for that matter.'_

"**They don't know that."**

_'Ok...Soooo, what now?'_

"**Generally this is the point at which you disappear kit."**

"_Well thanks for stating the obvious, but that's not very helpful."_

"**Run now plan later, though you may want to head in the general direction of Kaze no Kuni."**

'_That's probably as good a place as any, lots of places to hide and the shifting sands will make me much harder to track.'_

"**Not to mention there will be a friendly shinobi village close by."**

_'Why would Suna help me? They're allied with Konoha.'_

"**Kit, we both know that one day that Shukaku's vessel will be the... I believe the term is Kazekage, sometime soon and until then they're scared shitless of him so what he says goes. It's good to have friends in high places."**

_Whatever you say Yoko-bastard.'_

"**STOP CALLING ME THAT!"**

_'Make me fuzzball.'_

* * *

EDITED: 3/1/10

Muse(Author) rant: I've said it before and I'll say it again: LET'S HEAR IT FOR INSOMNIA FOLKS! Currently It's 4:35 AM and I have just finished this chapter. Review as Always, flames will be used as building blocks and as ammunition against zombies when Armageddon comes. (Kidding, kidding XP, or, am I?) DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN. If any of you know of any good music, drop me a line through Delta's e-mail, it should be on the profile.

Delta's Rant: sure make me the secretary.

Muse: You were born to be one.

Delta: looks up from suspicious little red book "huh you say something"

Muse: "DAMNIT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO COOL"

Delta: "Cause I'm sweet like that"

Muse: "I hate you"

Delta: "Take a number and get in line"

Muse: -.-

Delta: starts flashing hand seals "...saru, mi, tori. Sionara" waves then flickers out

Muse: "Wait come back I still need you to help me write the next chp!"


	4. Now or Never

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

I would write a disclaimer but right now I just can't bring myself to care

**Notice of Regime Change  
**

Ok The Muse is taking to long so I'm taking over

Delta

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Now or Never**

"**Oh I hated this part all you did was run."**

'_Well, that was kinda the point. You know, put some distance between me and the village to make it harder for them to catch me?'_

"**Feh, running. You should have just made a dramatic exit like in all those other fics."**

'_Fox what are you talking about?'_

"**Merely muttering incoherent nonsense to myself about how anticlimactic, confusing and vague the last chps were on why you left the village... and breaking the fourth wall."**

'_What! You know why I left; you bombarded me with all those scenes of my friends suffering because of me so I left to protect them.'_

"**Just keep telling yourself that brat and maybe you'll believe it."**

'_FAKE IT TILL YA MAKE IT!'_

* * *

_**Location Unknown**_

As Hinata slowly made her way back to consciousness, she inevitably became aware that several things were out of the ordinary. First off, she was moving. This seemed rather odd considering she didn't sleepwalk and she wasn't doing anything to move herself. So that must mean someone was moving her. Next, she was bound hand and foot, her hands tied together and pinned behind her back. Also there was something over her mouth, that was odd she didn't remember putting on a mask that morning, for that matter she didn't even think she owned one. Then there was the fact that someone was carrying her.

Wait…

As the memories of the events leading to her 'nap' came rushing back to her, Hinata's eyes snapped open. Switching into fight or flight mode, she immediately began molding chakra to cut the ropes around her wrists, or rather she tried to but nothing happened. She tried to call out, scream, anything for some one to help her, but nothing came out but a muffled whimper. Whatever this thing on her mouth was, it was obviously there to keep her quiet.

Now in a full out panic, Hinata began to thrash in every direction to make her captor release her, later she'd think back on this and realize it probably wasn't a good idea considering she was roughly fifteen meters above the forest floor and given her current state she may not have landed well. As it was her actions caught the attention of whoever was carrying her.

She was quite convinced this was _not_ Naruto. Regardless of how he looked, Naruto did not tie her up... not that she would mind if he _did _under certain circumstances.

* * *

As Naruto continued leaping from tree to tree, he kept going over his plan again and again searching for any loopholes or mistakes he may have made.

**Flashback**

_After he had knocked Hinata out he had picked her up and moved further away from the wall to make sure he wasn't spotted. Then he had removed the majority of her clothing dressing her in some of his spares, after that was done he had made roughly twenty kage bushin giving each of them something of Hinata's whether one of her zori or a scrap of her pants or jacket. Once each of them had something he gave them their orders._

"_Ok here's the plan, I want each of you to crisscross all around the village then head in a different direction and haul ass until your chakra runs out. Make sure you leave a trail, but don't make it easy to follow, you got that?" clones nod in unison, "Good, get moving," and with that they scattered each creating a false physical and scent trail (i.e. Hinata's clothes, and you thought he just wanted to cop a feel, shame)._

_After that was done, Naruto dug in his pack pulling out a scroll labeled 'Prisoner Kit' he broke the seal revealing its contents: several lengths of 700 lb cord, a chakra disruptor, and a gag tag(1). Moving quickly Naruto placed the sound stopping note over Hinata's mouth, then fastened the chakra inhibitor around her waist, then he gently rolled her over pulling her arms behind her back he tied her wrists together then using another length of cord her pinned her arms to her body, moving to her legs he used the last two lengths of cord one around her ankles and one around her knees._

_Confident in the knowledge that Hinata wasn't going anywhere Naruto turned to his last task before he made himself VERY scarce. Sitting down he again dug in his pack this time pulling out a scroll and a sumi set. Unrolling the scroll Naruto paused looking thoughtful then began to write out his message. Once he was done he waited for the ink to dry then rolled it up._

_Making several hand seals Naruto bit his thumb and placed his palm on the ground. As the seals spidered across the ground Naruto focused on the one he wanted, a small puff of smoke later his friend had arrived._

"_Yo, what's up Naruto?" asked the small orange and blue toad._

"_Hey Gamakichi," Naruto said grinning broadly at the little guy, "I need you to deliver a message for me. Think you can handle it?" Of course, he already knew the answer; he had pushed the magic button after all._

"_Mail work, peh," scoffed the young toad summon, "You do know that I used to be second only to dad right. What makes you think this is gonna be a problem."_

"_Well first of all you don't get to pull the 'I was awesome' card, you lost that privilege when you called baa-chan flat," Naruto teased remembering the story of how his little friend had gone from the #2 toad summon to mail man, he still had no idea how Tsunade had shrunk him... probably some super complicated medic shit. All he knew for sure was that it involved one NASTY punch._

"_How was I supposed to know the woman was so touchy?" the little toad pouted._

"_Anyway this may take a while and next time I'll get you some candy," that perked the toad's interest. "Here's what I want you to do, take this," hands over the scroll, "and go back to Konoha. Wait till you're sure that they know I'm gone then deliver that to Tsunabe."_

"_Alright got it go ba-WAIT! WHAT? GONE?"_

"_SHHH keep it down, yes gone. I'm sick of being a scapegoat for those ungrateful pricks. Not to mention my friends getting hurt because of me, so I'm leaving."_

"_But what if they send hunter-nin after you?" he fussed worry for his friend's wellbeing written all over his face._

"_That's what the letter's for," replied Naruto grinning evilly._

"_Ok…take care of yourself." _

"_Don't worry I will."_

"_And make sure you summon me, it gets boring without you."_

"_Get out of here," Naruto chuckled, shooing the little toad away._

* * *

**End Flashback**

After that Gamakichi had left heading back toward the village and he had packed up grabbed Hinata and headed southwest. That was five hours ago and now it was pitch black as he moved through the trees. Then his passenger had begun to stir, at first he hadn't really noticed but after a while it became pretty hard to ignore (lets see you hold a thrashing thirteen year old and not notice).

Quickly jumping to the ground just in case he dropped her Naruto set Hinata down before attempting to calm her down and assure her that she had nothing to worry about.

"Hinata," he called trying to get her attention

Thrashing.

"Hinata!" he called again.

More thrashing this time accompanied by attempts to scoot away from him.

"Hinata stop!" he pleaded.

Thrashing

Slap

Hinata froze, staring at the boy crouched beside her who looked just as stunned by his actions as she probably did, it hadn't hurt much it just surprised her. Seriously what kind of self-respecting kidnapper just lightly slapped their captive… unless.

"Sorry about that but I needed to get your attention," said Naruto jerking out of his daze. "Here's the gist of what's going on, you caught me leaving so in order to keep you quiet I had to either kill you or take you with me," Hinata's eyes widened slightly at this, "You have never been anything but nice to me Hinata-chan so it would be rather rude for me to kill you so I brought you along. Once they know I'm gone and have stopped the manhunt for the most part it'll be safe to let you go until then you're stuck with me, ok?"

Hinata nodded slowly, allowing Naruto to pick her up again.

"Oh, and sorry about ropes but this way if anyone sees me you won't get in any trouble," he explained grinning sheepishly.

Again Hinata nodded and with that they were off once more, Naruto heading away from the village he had called home for so long while leaving Hinata to her own thoughts.

_'He's abandoning the village!'_ she thought frantically, _'But if he does that they'll kill him.'_ It was at this moment that Hinata noticed that her jacket and zori were gone and that her usually pants had been replaced by a pair of Naruto's, _'He-he took off my clothes?'_

Naruto noticing the alarmed look on Hinata's face as she stared at herself decided he still had a little explaining to do. "Heh-heh, sorry about the clothes I used them to make a false scent trail, just in case." He couldn't quite place the look Hinata was giving him, was it surprise, embarrassment, maybe a little of both? He couldn't tell.

_'Maybe…they won't catch him?' _Hinata thought hopefully. Then reality hit her, _'If he leaves I may never see him again, I'll never be able to tell him how I feel,' _once again panic began to take hold of the young konoichi until another realization hit her. It was so simple and yet it was so hard, she either told him how she felt before he let her go or she lost her chance forever.

* * *

EDITED: 6/5/11

**End Notes**

Ok a thousand apologies for how long this took but I finally gave up on getting the Muse to write so I'm taking over, I'll be bouncing around between this, NoTNT , and maybe another fic later on. So read, review, and till next time.

for anyone confused, "Fake it till you make it" essentially means that, within reason, if you pretend to be something long enough you will eventually become it.

**Cliff Notes**

Gag tag- a little invention of mine basically following the same concept of the exploding note accept rather than a seal to make shit go boom, the seal stops/muffles sound. Like an exploding note it can be stuck onto things using chakra, like say... Hinata's mouth, hence gag tag.

Cakra Disrupter- a belt with seals that mess with the wearer's chakra flow making it nearly impossible to use any kind of jutsu.


	5. Hide and Speak

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Check the copyright if you think I own Naruto

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hide and Speak**

_'Oi vey, I remember this.'_

**"What? You mean this part here where you tried to run yourself into the ground for four days straight?"**

_'So sue me! I didn't know how long I had before they figured out that Hinata was missing.'_

**"You may be a stamina freak but HONESTLY! What in all the hells were you thinking?"**

_'Something along the lines of get the hell outa dodge.'_

**"Yes, but four days straight? And only stopping for water and to give the girl a ration? You've pulled stupid stuff before, but this is going a little too far don't you think?"**

_'Soldier pill, fur ball.'_

**"You mean that little pellet you popped wasn't candy?"**

_'How long have you been stuck with me again?'_

**"…"**

_'What's with the look?'_

**"You actually thought to use one of those?"**

_'Yeah…'_

**"Who are you, and what have you done with Naruto?"**

_'OH FOR THE LOVE OF-'_

* * *

**_Somewhere in River Country_**

'_Ok this will do,'_ thought Naruto as he set his captive against the wall of his new hide out.

Looking around, it wasn't much to look at, but he had found the cave system several miles from a small city in north River country near it's border with Wind country and now he was getting ready to dig in for a good couple of weeks, but first...

'_Food,'_ running for four days stopping only for water, snacks for Hinata, and bathroom breaks (that had been _really _interesting) over difficult terrain to throw off any pursuers tends to work up an appetite. So after setting a few traps Naruto disappeared to search for something they could eat leaving Hinata to her thoughts.

'_Ok, Naruto-kun said that we would be staying here for a while so…'_ she thought as she continued to iron out just what the hell she planned to do to get her notoriously dense (among other things) crush to realize that she liked him. (1)

A short while later, Naruto returned with a pair of dead rabbits and a bundle of plants clutched in his hands, presumably wild spices and vegetables for whatever he was making.

'_Oh, poor bunny,' _thought Hinata as Naruto began skinning and gutting his catch.

He must have seen the look she gave them, because as he was laying the pelts aside he spoke, "Don't worry I killed them quickly. They probably didn't even have time to be scared," he stated while giving Hinata an apologetic look before leaving again to dump the innards. (2)

'_Naruto-kun...'_ Hinata thought with more then just a little longing, _'Even though I'm your prisoner you still treat me well. How can someone so kind, someone who has done so much, be treated the way you are? Well... 'how you _were_ treated' I guess.'_

Coming back in Naruto sat down and started cutting the rabbit meat into pieces and dropping it in a pot that he took from his pack. While he was doing this he seemed to realize that he had forgotten something and proceeded to smack himself in the forehead which, looking back, could have ended very badly considering he was still holding the kunai he had been using to cut the meat. Either way he crossed his fingers and a moment later…

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**," he called summoning a small group of shadow clones, "Alright you," he said pointing to one of the clones, "go get the water. The rest of you I need, you to collect fire wood." With that the clones scattered leaving Hinata and Naruto alone once more.

For a few minutes Naruto busied himself with chopping up the remainder of the ingredients to what Hinata assumed to be a soup. A deafening silence settled over the cave, broken only by the sound of Naruto's kunai and returning clones. Quickly making a small cooking fire Naruto set the pot over the flames before sitting back against the wall of the cave. Once Naruto deemed that it was done he poured some into a bowl and began walking around the fire toward Hinata.

'_Wait, he can't risk untying me, so that means…'_ Hinata thought as Naruto sat in front of her.

Reaching out Naruto removed the tag sealing Hinata's mouth before taking hold of the spoon and, "Open wide."

'_He's feeding me!' _Hinata was on cloud nine, _'This has to be a dream, this even tastes good.' _Naruto must have seen the far away look on her face and taken it as depression because as he gave her the next spoonful he spoke.

"You know, as long as you don't try anything I can leave the gag note off," he explained.

"O-ok," she said then as Naruto made to give her another bite she shook her head, "No thank you, I'm full."

"You have got to be kidding," he exclaimed in disbelief, "You've had barely half the bowl."

"I've n-never been a big eater," she said shrugging her shoulders.

"Ooook…" he replied clearly still skeptical as he moved back to the pot.

Deciding she needed to change the subject Hinata spoke, "So, what now?"

Sighing slightly Naruto stared into the flames, "Well for now we'll just sit tight till things calm down and then... I don't know…"

"Will you ever go back?"

"Not likely," he said giving a derisive snort, "I wasn't on good terms with a lot of people before this. Now, if I go back, it'll start a riot."

"I don't understand, you are merely a gennin like myself. What could you have done that could be so bad?"

"It's not so much what I've _done,_ as it is what I _am_ and what I represent that's the problem."

At a complete loss as to how to answer that Hinata decided the best course of action was to keep silent and hope Naruto would explain. For quite some time they stayed like that.

'_Awe hell, she'll find out when she gets back anyway,' _Naruto decided, "Do you remember the story of the Kyuubi attack 13 years ago?"

"Yes," spoke Hinata wondering what he was getting at, "For reasons unknown the Kyuubi no Youko attacked the village, killing hundreds until Yondaime-sama killed it using one of the villages' forbidden techniques."

"Almost right, Iruka-sensei's exact wording was that the Yondaime _defeated_ Kyuubi," he paused for a moment, not noticing Hinata's surprise that at the fact that he had actually payed attention to a lecture. "Do you know what demons are Hinata-chan?" he asked, his eyes on the fire.

"Um..." now that she stopped to think about it she really didn't know.

Noticing this Naruto spoke, "Demons are sentient masses of chakra... tell me Hinata, how do you kill energy?"

"You...can't," her eye's growing wide with realization as she started peicing things together.

"Right, you can't, a Biju can only be sealed away," he spoke lifting his shirt to reveal the intricate seal on his belly.

* * *

EDITED: 6/5/11

**End Notes**

Ok chp 6 done that was a nice distraction now back to NOTNT. Next time on **Who's the Hostage?** Chp 7: Duck and Cover, keep your head down or you are gonna get nailed as Tsunabe finds out Naruto's gone and why he left. Beware the wrath of the Hokage.

**Cliff Notes**

1. "like" because love is more developed then what she has shown.

2. If you leave the guts to close to camp it will attract animals


	6. Duck and Cover

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Check the copyright if you think I own Naruto

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chp 6: Duck and Cover**

'_WHAT NO! CHANGE IT BACK! WHAT HAPPENS?! DOES SHE REJECT ME?'_

**"These are YOUR memories fool."**

_'So?'_

**"So, since they are YOUR memories of what happened in YOUR past that means YOU already know what happened."**

'_What if I don't remember?'_

**"You can't be serious."**

_'Well THIS isn't MY memory, I mean I was long gone so how are we seeing Baa-chan and the others?'_

**"How should I know how your twisted little mind works? For all I know, or care, you could be clairvoyant or have some strange form of E.S.P."**

_'You really think so?'_

**"No."**

_'Well that wasn't very nice.'_

**"If the omnicidle tendencies didn't tip you off the fact that I want to eat you should tell you something about my character."**

_'That's only two things about a multi-millennia being that has seen and done more than I can possibly imagine, how does that tell me anything?'_

**"…"**

_'You're giving me that look again.'_

**"Are you sure you're Naruto?"**

* * *

**_Konohagakure no Sato_**

Tsunade was not having a good day. Why, you may ask. The sun was shining, not too bright not too hot. There was a nice breeze. She had finished all her paperwork. She had sake. Jiraiya wasn't bothering her. All in all you'd think everything was picture perfect, but Tsunade was worried. She wasn't sure when it had started but over the past several days she had become increasingly uneasy, a growing dread in the back of her mind. Then that morning her teacup had cracked, a bad omen.

Knock Knock

"What is it?" she asked as Shizune poked her head in.

"Hiashi-sama wishes to speak with you," replied her assistant.

Oh there was no way this could be good, "Show him in," for a moment Shizune ducked out of the office only to reappear a moment later followed by a very stern looking man carrying that mornings' paper which she left on the desk before exiting the office. "So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I believe my daughter may be missing," he said in a very controlled matter-of-fact tone.

"May I ask what led you to such a conclusion?"

"No one has seen or heard from her for four days, at first I believed she was still caring for the Uzumaki boy but if that were the case she would have at least checked in with someone."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thank you Hokage-sama," but he didn't get up to leave.

"Was there something else?"

"I would appreciate it if you could update me on the situation whenever possible," though still calm his voice betrayed his intentions, no matter how bad his parenting skills were, Hiashi did care.

That made Tsunade smile, "Of course," and with that the Hyuuga patriarch took his leave. No sooner had the door closed then Tsunade spoke to the seemingly empty room, "Hotaro," a cloaked figure wearing an ANBU dog mask appeared, "You heard that?" the figure nodded, "Run a full sweep of the village and report back," nodding again the figure disappeared.

Hoping to take her mind off things Tsunade picked up her newspaper and began reading until something in the corner made her heart stop. Dropping the paper she ripped open a drawer to her left rummaging through the mess before pulling out a small slip of paper. Praying to every deity in existence that she had made a mistake she compared the two sets of numbers her face growing progressively paler until her skin resembled rice paper. She had won the lottery; this was the worst of signs. When she won bad things happened.

* * *

That night Hyuuga Hinata was declared missing under suspicious circumstances and a full investigation into her disappearance was launched.

A search of her room showed nothing missing or out of place and further investigation showed that no one had seen her since a public incident some four days previous.

Shortly there after it was discovered that she was last seen with one Uzumaki Naruto and a team of ANBU was dispatched to bring him in for questioning.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HIM!" screamed an increasingly hysterical and frustrated Tsunade. First Hinata had gone missing and now Naruto was incommunicado.

"His apartment was empty and a sweep of the village turned up nothing," the ANBU paused.

"AND!?"

"Hokage-sama there were signs that no one had been in his home for several days."

"Was there any sign of forced entry," she had an idea of what the answer may be but she was hoping she was wrong.

"No."

For a moment Tsunade relaxed but something in the mans voice wasn't right, "I'm sensing a 'but' coming."

"The majority of his possessions are missing."

All his stuff was gone? That made no sense, "Just what the hell is going on?!" she cried in frustration.

POOF

Nearly jumping out of her skin Tsunade whirled around to stare at a red and green toad that had just appeared on her desk holding a scroll.

"Yo."

"What are you doing here Gamakichi?" groaned Tsunade as she began massaging her temple. She and the small toad had a bit of a history and she had to deal with any of Jiraiya's crap right now she was going to destroy something.

"Naruto said-"

"WHAT?! WHERE IS HE?!" she demanded.

"By now half way to Yuki no Kuni," he said, "but that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

"To deliver this," he said tossing the scroll the busty woman, "Naruto said to give it to you once I was sure that you knew he was gone," he finished as Tsunade began unrolling the scroll and as she read it her mood changed from pissed to irate.

Tsunade rounded on the still present ANBU, "Go tell Hiashi that I need to speak with him, then find Kakashi and Jiraiya," and when the poor man didn't move fast enough she threw a chair at him yelling, "NOW!!" the ANBU disappeared instantly and she turned back to her around expecting an empty desk only to find that Gamakichi was still there, "And you're still here why?" she growled.

"Just watching what happens in case Naruto asks next time he summons me."

* * *

_**En Route to the Hokage's Office**_

Hyuuga Hiashi was many things; he was one of the most powerful shinobi in the Leaf, a master of the Juuken and the other Hyuuga techniques, the leader of the most prominent clan in Konoha, and a father. Though he would be the first to admit that his parenting skills left much to be desired, he loved and cherished his daughters and the knowledge that one of them was missing, possibly in danger, frightened him on a level that few could understand.

At first he had thought nothing of the fact that Hinata wasn't coming home, she was caring for an injured friend (which wasn't out of the ordinary she had done it for Kiba once or twice), but when she didn't check in at home or with anyone he began to get worried. She had been away from home numerous times for missions, the chunnin exam, etc but all those times she had told _someone _where she was and what was going on. This was different, yes she had been on a mission but the mission was inside the village and didn't require her to stay away from home for too long; even in the case of an emergency she would only need to take Naruto to the hospital and that would not be reason to be gone this long.

It didn't take him very long to figure out that something was wrong. Her room remained untouched. No one within the clan had spoken with her for several days. None of her friends had seen or talked to her. No one at the hospital had talked to her recently about Naruto's condition, nor were there any reports left. Considering that a report on the boy's ongoing condition had been filed up until four days before he checked he could only draw one conclusion, something very wrong. That had been when he went to the Hokage.

After that the news had simply gotten worse. There was no sign that Hinata was _anywhere _in Konoha nor had she been there for several days. The official search and inventory of her room revealed everything (minus a change of clothes and basic ninja accessories, i.e. her daily wear) was present suggesting she hadn't planned on going very far. After that she had been "officially" declared missing. Last he'd been told no one could remember, or wouldn't admit he had speculated (viva the parental paranoia), seeing her any time after a public incident in which a drunk had insulted Naruto eventually escalating to the point where Hinata was supposedly attacked and now he had been personally called to the Hokage's office rather then being informed by messenger, like all of the prior updates, meaning whatever had turned up was too sensitive to risk it being circulated to the general populous or he needed to be the first to know out of courtesy. Neither theory was very comforting.

Why you may ask?

Well the first option most likely meant that the village was in some way compromised, most likely an enemy or unknown party had Hinata and by extension the Byakuugan. The reason for keeping something of that sort quiet? Simple, it's easier to take action if your enemy thinks you are still in the dark or in the case of a ransom the fact that Konoha had slipped would never see the light of day.

The second option…they found the body.

So it was that Hyuuga Hiashi approached the door to the Hokage's office with an ever growing sense of dread.

Knock Knock

"Enter."

Walking into the office Hiashi quickly took count of his surroundings. In general nothing looked out of place, in other words there was no body to speak of which gave him hope, the barest sliver of hope but hope none the less, "You wanted to see me Hokage-sama?"

"You should read this," she stated handing him a scroll.

Taking the scroll Hiashi began to read.

_Dear Tsunade Obaa-chan,_

_If you are reading this you have most likely discovered that I am gone. I have come to the conclusion that my continued presence would pose an indirect threat to all those that I seek to protect and for that reason I will not be returning to Konoha anytime in the foreseeable future. To alleviate any fears I have not and never will betray the village without provocation._

_On that note if it has not yet come to your attention Hyuuga Hinata is also missing, she is with me, her safety, however, is conditional. As long as Konoha does not pursue me she will remain as she is, safe and under my protection. However, in the event that Konoha takes action against me her eyes will go to the highest bidder. Once I am satisfied that no one has been sent I will release Hinata to return._

_Sincerely,_

_Uzumaki Naruto_

Taking his eyes off the scroll Hiashi glanced at the Hokage, "You are sure that Naruto wrote this?"

"Yes," she answered noting that he used Naruto's name, though that could simply be due to the fact that he was on the council.

For a moment Hiashi stared at the scroll in his hand then he burst into hysterical laughter.

Tsunade was struck dumb, this was incomprehensible. Naruto was threatening to sell this man's daughter to an enemy village to become a science experiment/brood mare and he was laughing, he was friggin LAUGHING!!

"I fail to see what is so hysterically funny Hiashi," she spat.

"T-they called this child the dead last?" he managed, he had no desire to be the target of her… displeasure.

"Yes, what of it," she responded tersely, what kind of question was that even she knew that Naruto was at the bottom of the class and she had been back for less then a month, what was he getting at?

"Re-read it," he said handing her the scroll, "He states that he will not betray us or give Hinata up without provocation correct?"

"Yes…"

"And that he will release her when he is satisfied we are not coming after him?"

"Yes…"

"And in the event that we do come after him he will create a bidding war?"

"Yes."

"And that he left to protect his friends?"

"Yes, Hiashi where is this going?"

"Simply by how he has worded this I can assume that he is far more intelligent then I have been led to believe, so he is intelligent enough to know that Konoha is the largest and most successful of the hidden villages meaning-"

"That in the event of a bidding war we would be able to out bid the other villages," Tsunade finished.

"Did you notice how he worded the second sentence?"

Tsunade mumbled the passage to herself, "'I have come to the conclusion that my continued presence would pose an indirect threat to all those that I seek to protect and for that reason I will not be returning to Konoha anytime in the… foreseeable… future.' He's not planning to come back?"

"Most likely, but it doesn't say he _won't_ and the last sentence?"

"He's going to let her go once we aren't chasing him?" that was the only meaning she could draw.

"Yes."

"I still don't see how you can be so calm about this let alone think it's funny. Your daughter is a captive for an unknown amount of time and once she is released she could be attacked before she can make it back to the village."

"It's rather simple really," he said, "She will not be coming back alone."

"You are going to have to explain that to me."

"I may not be the greatest father in the world but I know my daughters, and Hinata has been infatuated with Uzumaki Naruto since the age of eight and the moment she realizes that he does not plan to return she is not going to let him out of her sight and he's already promised that as long as she's with him he'll keep her safe, which considering who he is and some of the other rumors I've heard about him she safety shouldn't be much of a problem."

At that point it dawned on Tsunade, "He thinks he's going to get off the hook when he lets her go," she cackled.

* * *

_**Twenty Minutes Later**_

After a few manic minutes of hysterical laughter at Naruto's expense reality had set in, Naruto and Hinata were gone for an undetermined amount of time. It could be years till they _heard_ from them let alone see them and that thought was truly depressing. All in all it was a very depressed Tsunade that greeted Jiraiya and Kakashi when they arrived.

Barging in looking mildly put out from having his research interrupted Jiraiya was about to unleash his **Migraine no Jutsu** (a.k.a. whine like a child) when the look on his teammate's face stopped him dead, "What happened?" it was a demand.

* * *

_**Somewhere on the opposite side of Kaze no Kuni**_

A pair of random travelers were walking along when all of a sudden…

**"HE WHAT?!"**

One of the men turned to his companion, "What in all the hells was that?"

* * *

_**Hokage's Office**_

Tsunade, who was now standing over a beaten and bloody Jiraiya, held a glowing green hand to her now bleeding ears, "As I was saying before I was so painfully interrupted, Hiashi and I have come to the conclusion that there is no threat posed to the village so any attempts to find Naruto would be in order to contact him rather that capture," she paused momentarily to start healing her other ear, "the reason I called you two is because you have the best chances of finding him and he trusts you so he won't feel threatened." Finishing with her ears she sighed, what had to say was not going to be easy, "I want you to find him and try to establish a line of communication; in the event that you do find him do NOT try to force him or otherwise convince him to come back."

* * *

_**Three Miles Outside Konoha's Walls Several Hours Later**_

POOF

"Eh?" came Gamakichi's bewildered response to being summoned so soon after he had gone home then seeing the white haired man that had summoned him, "Jiraiya? What do you want?"

"Take this with you," he said giving the small toad a scroll the size of the contract scroll he always carried, "It's for Naruto."

* * *

EDITED: 3/1/10

**End Notes**

Well it's not my best work but this wasn't a very important chp anyway. Oh well NEXT TIME: back with our hero we find out how Hinata reacted to Naruto's fuzzy little secret.


	7. More Hiding More Speaking

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

I used to own Naruto... and then I woke up

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 7: More Hiding More Speaking**

'_Wow she sent Kakashi-sensei AND Ero-sennin and they still didn't find me.'_

**"Now now let's not jump to conclusions, we haven't seen how hard they tried yet."**

_'Admit it fur ball, I dun good.'_

**"What I admit is that you seem to possess an uncanny affinity for dumb luck."**

_'If I remember the stories that Hokage-jiji told me correctly that's a trait that I share with you Kitsune.'_

**"It is not the same…"**

_'Oh how so?'_

**"I was under the impression that having traits in common with demons was less then desirable among humans."**

'_Only the obvious ones. You know tails, pointy teeth, a tendency towards indiscriminate destruction .'_

"**Have you checked out your k-9s lately I'm pretty sure you could slice paper with them."**

'_You know I think I may have liked you better when you were constantly threatening to dismember me.'_

**"Yes well that's your own fault with that annoying ability to inspire change in everyone around you."**

_'Ok Aka-Baka would never admit to that so who are you, what did you do with the Yoko-bastard, and how did you get in my head?'_

**"Cheeky little brat."**

* * *

_**Deep in a cave near the Wind River country border **_

As Naruto lay awake watching the sunrise through the mouth of the cave he contemplated the possibility that some deity or higher power (coughauthorcough) was screwing with his life and preconceptions for their own personal amusement.

You see Naruto had encountered many things that had confused him (some more than others) but last night took the cake. He had long ago come to the conclusion that people were weird but at least they all had several traits in common, one of those being they were predictable. Take what he had just told Hinata for instance, everyone had one of two reactions: "I HATE YOU GET AWAY FROM ME," or "Oh that's horrible you poor baby," (this of course excludes those who already knew/had prior knowledge) but now even that constant had been spectacularly blown out of the water when he had told his captive about his fuzzy little problem.

Honestly, he tells her his deepest darkest, hell the thing was filed as S-rank, secret and what does she do? She cries herself to sleep using him as a combination pillow/mattress that's what. Beatings, glares, hateful comments, explaining, neglect, all of that he could handle; but just what the **FUCK** was he supposed to do with a sobbing girl when he didn't even know what had upset her in the first place?

Oh she didn't start bawling like her puppy had died immediately following his confession. No, first she just stared at him in total shock (fairly standard reaction so far), then she got this look like she'd figured out the answer to life (still somewhat standard), and then she had collapsed into incoherent hysterics (ok not so standard anymore). Then he did the only thing he could think of that might help, he held her and she had sobbed herself to sleep, her face buried in his chest.

_'If I ever find out who wrote the script to that movie I'm going to hunt him down and kick his ass for a misleading representation,'_ fumed Naruto as the sun continued it's climb.

Now aside from realizing that movies were not a good source to draw examples from, Naruto had a dilemma, he had a tear stained, dirt smudged, unconscious girl in five day old clothes using him as a futon and they both needed a wash and some fresh clothes. There was only one problem with that, he only brought three sets of clothes(one to wear, one to wash, and one to mend, simple and cheap) and leaving Hinata in just his spare jacket and shirt just did NOT agree with him.

So, what to do… he obviously needed to get some clothes for Hinata to wear, that in itself wasn't a problem, after all there was a town only a few minutes away (if you were a ninja), the problem was doing it without moving, and therefore waking up Hinata.

"**You owe yourself a slap on the head once the girl wakes up,"** came Kyuubi's voice positively dripping with mirth.

'_And why pray tell Lord Fuzzy would I want to do that,' _Naruto thought back sarcastically.

"**How many times must I remind you that you are proficient in Kage Bunshin before it penetrates that fallout shelter you call a head?"**

Naruto blinked, then… he blinked again, _'You know I may have to agree with you…this time,' _so, with his arms still around Hinata, Naruto made the now familiar hand seal summoning one of his clones. "Alright here's what I need you to do…"

_**Several hours later**_

"Ungh," Hinata was (finally) back with the world of the living, _'What a strange dream,'_ not that she would really mind if Naruto-kun carried her off and tied her up, she just always thought it would be for… something else (shy she may be, innocent she is not),_ 'oh well I should probably get up,' _so she went to push herself up into a sitting position only to find, _'My hands are tied? But that means…'_ her eyes shot open to take in her surroundings, _'…it wasn't a dream.'_

"Good morning," she heard and looking down she realized that she had been sleeping on Naruto-kun, which caused her to turn a brilliant shade of crimson, and then she remembered what Naruto had told her last night.

"Naruto-kun?" she asked weakly.

"Yes?" asked Naruto in complete bewilderment.

"This…the Kyuubi…is that why they…why you were treated…?" she fumbled obviously referring to what he had told her.

"For the most part," what was she getting at?

"It's not fair," said before once again dissolving into tears.

"Eh!?" what did he do? Why was she crying? What wasn't fair? Why did girls have to be so confusing?!

Once again Naruto found himself beset by the enigma that is woman. No one ever came to him with their problems so he had no _real_ experience with consoling others and here he was expected, or so he felt, to do… something and he didn't even know what he was supposed to be trying to fix. What was he supposed to do? Was there like some special thing he was supposed to say or were you supposed to just let them cry? If she was just depressed or she left it at an awkward silence that was easy, hell, on Team Seven it had practically been his job to deal with such situations. He was out of his element and that left only one course of action.

Wing it.

His first thought was to slap her like he had when she had woken up and tried to smear herself across the forest floor, but her face was buried in his chest again so he improvised.

SLAP

Now I feel compelled to remind everyone that Naruto's upbringing was a little… different than most of us are used to so he had no idea what spanking was. As far he knew all he'd done was slap a convenient and sensitive part of Hinata's body. On the up side he seemed to have her undivided attention.

So taking advantage of her lapse in misery, "Ok now that you're coherent again what's this about something not being fair?" he asked.

Blushing a little(more) at the "coherent" comment, "All your life all you've done is protected us, but everyone treats you like a rabid dog," she finished with a sniffle, her face once again burrowed into his chest.

"First, not everyone treated me badly. Second, all I said was that Kyuubi was sealed, I don't remember saying anything about how. For all you know I'm just another form," ok so maybe it wasn't the best thing to say if he didn't want to push her away but he had a point.

"If you were the Kyuubi you would not have gone to all the trouble of keeping me alive when I caught you leaving. You would have simply killed me and left me to rot," she stated in a surprisingly calm voice.

**"She's got you there kid."**

Naruto was about to make some half-assed retort then continue his argument with Hinata but, "I'm back," called a female voice.

_'Huh who's that?'_ thought Hinata, then a beautiful girl with her blond hair up in pigtails came around the corner, _'Oh it's just one of Naruto-kun's clones, but why is it using a henge?'_

Seeing the curious look on Hinata's face Naruto answered her unasked question, "Since you didn't exactly pack for this little trip I sent him," he indicated the clone that had released the henge and gone off to explore the rest of the cave, "to get you some clothes."

Hinata was about to say that he shouldn't have wasted money on her when there was a loud splash and Naruto's clone calling, "Yo boss come check this out!" So setting Hinata on the cavern floor Naruto got up and went to find his clone.

'_Well that solves part of the bathing problem,'_ he thought as he stared at the almost completely enclosed natural hot spring that his clone had found, but as awesome as it was to have a hot spring around the corner he still had no way to make sure that Hinata didn't try anything (not that he thought she would but you can never tell with the quiet ones) and he wanted a way to know if she slipped or something. Then he remembered, _'I could have the clone to watch her. HA take that fox I remembered this time,' _he thought triumphantly.

'_**Oh I can't wait to see what his reaction is when he dispels it. This is going to be sooooooooooo funny.'**_

Meanwhile Naruto was back with his captive taking out a set of new clothes for her to change into as he explained his plan, "…and a clone will be watching to make sure nothing happens."

Poor Hinata it wasn't bad enough that Naruto was going to be nearby while she bathed but his clone was going to be _watching_ her. Ok so maybe she was overreacting it wasn't like the real Naruto was going to be watching right? _'It's not Naruto-kun. It's not Naruto-kun. It's not Naruto-kun. It's no…'_ her thoughts had trailed off as she saw the last articles that Naruto had added to the clothing pile. She knew that Naruto must have purchased…unmentionables, that in itself wasn't the problem though. You see he hadn't just bought her…unmentionables, he had bought her black_ lacy_ unmentionables; suffice it to say that if she was embarrassed before she was mortified now. Really if she had looked at it logically she would have realized that the only experience with women's'… unmentionables Naruto had would be advertisements and his selection would have made more sense but logic was not something she was capable of at the moment as she dazedly allowed the clone to carry her to the spring while she invented several new shades of red.

_**Thirty Minutes later**_

There was a small poof as Naruto dismissed his clone after it had finished retying Hinata's bonds only to be assaulted by images and memories, the most notable of which were of a very naked Hinata, that were most definitely not his own. _'The fuck…? How did-' _

"**!! THIS IS EVEN BETTER THEN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"** howled Kyuubi, completely incapable of holding his laughter any longer.

'_YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!?'_

"**You wound me I didn't **_**know**_** it was going to happen, I just made an educated guess based on the numerous other times you've done it."**

'_WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME!?'_

"**You seem to be under the misconception that I'm not a sadist that will let you make a fool of yourself for my own amusement."**

'_YOU SON OF A BITCH!'_

"**You say that like it's supposed to be an insult."**

'_YOU SET ME UP!'_

"**Correction YOUR habit of not reading all of the instructions, exhibit A everything that came after how to do the Kage Bunshin, came back and bit you in the ass."**

'_!!'_

Then, in one of his few but amazing flashes of absolute brilliance, it hit him. He remembered everything the clone had done and learned since he had summoned, if he retained all the memories and experiences of his clones then, the physical aspects aside, he could literally fit months even years of training and learning into a single day. But alas once again it seemed that the powers that be had no intention whatsoever of letting Naruto simply bask in the glory of his discovery.

"N-Naruto-kun, is everything a-alright," asked Hinata rather nervously while scooting into a corner and trying to make herself as small as possible. He was using his "Evil Genius" grin; that _always_ meant bad news. Usually it just meant that he had come up with a particularly spectacular prank that would have the majority of Konoha out for his blood, but on occasion it signaled something a little more devious, like the creation of his Orioke no jutsu for example, and seeing as there was a shortage of his usual victims… well at least he wouldn't hurt her.

Snapping back to reality Naruto managed to stammer out, "Well I kind of just…" Meanwhile in Naruto's head, _'ShitshitFUCKSHITGODDAMNIT!! How the hell do you say "I now know every square inch of your body by heart" without sounding like a total lech?!' _

"**I suggest that playing it off as the accident it was, maybe add in a little flattery for good measure." **It was a testament to just how freaked out Naruto was that he didn't realize that Kyuubi had actually helped him and _WILLINGLY_ at that. Hell he barely even noticed that Kyuubi had said anything at all.

"…made a very interesting discovery," he finished sheepishly, "I get all my clones memories and experiences when they dispel."

"Well that is quite useful," then it sank in and she began blushing so badly steam started pouring out of her ears, _'Naruto-kun… remembers… everything… clones… everything…' _and then she was out cold.

'_Is there anything regular about Hinata?' _Naruto wondered as he stared at this girl that seemed to follow none of the normal behaviors or stereotypes of girls. Usually something like this would earn him, at the very least, a long bitching out and if the girl(s) were really pissed he'd end up in the hospital.

For several minutes longer he continued to ponder the mystery of his captive's behavior before deciding to just let it go for now, "Oh well. It's not like memories of watching a girl with a killer body bathing are going to give me nightmares or anything," he thought aloud as he went to take a bath while Hinata was asleep never noticing her head fall as she fainted again.

* * *

EDITED: 3/1/10

**End Notes**

Ok sorry for the delay I originally wrote this to cover all the way to two weeks after Naruto left the village but after leaving it for a little while and coming back I realized that the way I had written it didn't really suit the story very well. I decided that cutting the two weeks into several chapters would work better.


	8. It Just Sank In

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Yes I own Naruto…we're talking about the little fish cakes that I put in my ramen right?

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 8: It Just Sank In  
**

_'Well at least now I know why she was so weird.'_

**"Yes love changes everything."**

_'You sound like you're speaking from experience.'_

**"No comment."**

_'So you actually ARE speaking from experience?'_

**"No comment."**

'_You've got to be shitting me. Kyuubi no Kitsune strongest of the Biju, killer of civilizations, destroyer of mountains, sinker of continents, and hater of all things cute actually fell in love.'_

**"Love is such a strong word."**

_'And you're in denial.'_

**"Hm, if I say yes I admit that you're right, if I say no you can simply claim it's the denial, very nice."**

_'Damn and I thought I had you too.'_

**"It was a good try but you're nine thousand years too late to catch me with that one brat."**

* * *

_**Tsunade's office**_

Knock Knock

"Enter," Tsunade called, honestly who came calling at this time of night-er…not so early morning... seriously that sun came out of nowhere, the only reason she was up was because she couldn't sleep after sending out Kakashi and Jiraiya. Looking up from her paperwork as the door opened to reveal someone she hadn't expected to see for awhile, "Kakashi what are you doing back so soon?"

"I've come to make my report," he spoke in an even tone that betrayed none of his inner turmoil.

"Shouldn't that wait for _after_ you complete you mission?" asked Tsunade in a slightly irritated voice, though if one looked closely they could see the wild desperation in eyes, if Kakashi was back this quickly it could only mean…

"Mission Failed Hokage-sama," Kakashi whispered in a voice that made him sound small and defeated.

"Explain," she ordered through gritted teeth as she fought for control of her emotions.

"Scent trails indicated two individuals leaving the village separately over the east wall some four to six days ago before meeting a short distance into the forest," he began in a detached monotone, "The sight showed signs consistent with the second individual being subdued, possibly rendered unconscious, then moved a short distance, presumably to avoid detection by the guards, and then restrained," he paused considering his next words.

"And," Tsunade ground out.

"From that point there are at least 20 trails but they are only discernible in that clearing. From there the trails lead in all directions crisscrossing around the village for several miles mixing the trails in such a way that it is impossible to tell where one ends and another begins," he paused again before dropping the bomb, "We have no way of tracking him Hokage-sama, we'll need to wait for him to surface which given his behavior is highly unlikely," he finished. He'd always known that Naruto had exceptional capabilities in both stealth and evasion, he had watched as a very young Naruto had learned to disappear as a means of escaping the villages more… forward citizens.

"Leave," Tsunade ordered.

Nodding Kakashi turned and slipped from the room moving swiftly down the hall, he would not disrespect her by being present or within earshot when she broke down.

As the door closed tears began to silently make their way down Tsunade's cheeks, Naruto was gone. How could this have happened, maybe she missed something? Or maybe she hadn't-

"You shouldn't worry so much..." Tsunade whipped around to see Jiraiya walking towards her from the open window, "...you'll get wrinkles." It was a testament to just how out of it Tsunade was that she actually laughed at that, "Seriously stop worrying, he'll be fine."

"You don't know that he could-" she began only to be cut off as Jiraiya pulled her into a comforting hug, and for once he wasn't trying anything, just one friend comforting another.

"Shh," he soothed.

"But-" she began again before a blood curdling scream rent the air.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"**

"That sounded like Hiashi," said Tsunade.

Jiraiya smirked knowingly, "Probably just got over the euphoria of knowing that his daughter was alive and well, which means it just sank in that she's alone with a teenage boy."

For a moment Tsunade and Jiraiya just stared at each other, then as one they made a mad dash for the desk whipping out the crystal ball that their sensei had left and activated Tomogane no jutsu focusing it on the Hyuuga patriarch.

They paused looking at eachother then without warning they collapsed in fits of incoherent laughter at the scene that was taking place.

* * *

_**Elsewhere in Konoha**_

"Son I want you to watch this very closely as this only happens once every few years if we're lucky and you have to be even luckier to be there when it happens," a father explained to his son as they watched the normally unflappable Hyuuga Hiashi scream incoherent obscenities, threats, and other nonsense while running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off and trying to tear his hair out. Hyuuga very seldom lost their cool, for one to lose it so completely in public even more so (as in once or twice per generation), but when they did it was truly a sight to behold.

* * *

_**Back With Tsunade and Jiraiya**_

It took a while but eventually they both managed to calm down, the problem with that was that they also remembered what they'd been talking about before that nice little distraction.

"He's really gone isn't he," Tsunade moped.

"Yes he is," he stated flatly.

"So…what now?" for the first time since Naruto had brought her back she felt lost.

"We go to Plan B," Jiraiya replied through a shit eating grin.

"There was a Plan B?" Tsunade asked skeptically then, _'Wait a minute I know that grin,'_ she thought, her eyes narrowing in suspicion, "What did you do?" though she was almost afraid to here the answer.

"I may, or may not, have sent a certain blonde student of mine a scroll containing all the information and tools he could ever need to become a total badass," he said far too innocently.

"Fucking boy scout," she cursed good naturedly, "You planned for something like this?"

"What can I say I'm a firm believe in Murphy's law, "what can go wrong will go wrong" and I'm a pessimist, so there," he finished sticking his tongue out playfully.

"…" blank stare.

"What? Struck dumb by my amazing foresight and intellect?" he asked while striking an absurd pose.

"No, I'm just surprised you haven't tried to get in my pants yet."

"Is that an invitation?" he asked, a playful grin tracing his lips.

"Five minutes ago when I was distraught and confused, yes, but that was then and this is… wait why didn't you try five minutes ago?"

"What kind of low life do you take me for?" he asked in mock hurt, "Take advantage of you in your moment of weakness? Never. Such an act is the sign of a truly pathetic man. Where's the challenge, the thrill of the chase, the skillful wooing, the brilliant foreplay? No, to stoop to such a trick would be an insult to both you and my ability to win you over, which I will, it's just a matter of time."

"Wow…that was actually really profound."

Jiraiya gave the victory sign, "I may be a super pervert, but I got the skills to back it up."

* * *

**Omake: Alternate Ending: Raise Ya**

_**By: EDelta88**_

_**Inspired By: He Who Spoke**_

"Five minutes ago when I was all distraught and confused, yes, but that was then and this is… wait why didn't you try five minutes ago?"

"What kind of low life do you take me for?" he asked in mock hurt, "Take advantage of you in your moment of weakness? Never. Such an act is the sign of a truly pathetic man. Where's the challenge, the thrill of the chase, the skillful wooing, the brilliant foreplay? No, to stoop to such a trick would be an insult to both you and my ability to win you over, which I will, it's just a matter of time."

"Wow…that was actually really profound."

Jiraiya gave the victory sign, "I may be a super pervert, but I got the Mad Ninja skills to back it up."

Grinning back at him Tsunade replied, "Well I'll see your "Mad Ninja Skills" and raise you one Chuck Norris."

Raising an eyebrow Jiraiya answered without missing a beat, "I'll see your Chuck Norris and raise you two pirates and a spoon."

"GOD DAMNIT THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL GAMBLING AND I CAN'T WIN!"

* * *

EDITED: 3/1/10

**End Notes**

Skillfully done considering I was writing out of sheer boredom and finished it in my spare time over the last two weeks.


	9. Irony is a Bitch, Carry Dog Treats

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

BREAKING NEWS: This just in from our agent in the field: "Thanks Collin, well folks it would appear that the esteemed and glorified writer EDelta88 does not in fact own Naruto," and now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

**A/N**

Don't panic anyone I have been working on this and NotNT at the same time so that IS coming, this just got done first.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Irony is a Bitch... Carry Dog Treats**

"**This is hilarious."**

'_Maybe to you it was, you weren't the one it was happening to.'_

"**And that makes it that much better."**

'_I swear, there is some god or something screwing with me for their own amusement.'_

"**Oh how right you are."**

'_Are you serious!?'_

"**What are you talking about?"**

'_You just said I was right!" _

"**No I didn't."**

'_Yes you did'_

"**I said nothing."**

'_You just said that I was right about there was some sort of higher being screwing with me!'_

**"…"**

'_What's with the look?'_

**"You're an idiot."**

* * *

_**Deep in a cave near the Wind and River country border **_

_**Two weeks after Naruto left **_

Currently Naruto was sitting near the entrance of the cave he now shared with Hinata feeling like irony was out to get him as he took a break from going over the scroll that Gamakichi had given him earlier that day when Naruto had summoned him.

As Naruto looked back on his relatively short time spent in hiding he realized something. These had been two of the most crazy, confusing, embarrassing, informative, and enlightening weeks of his life.

First there had been the night when they'd first arrived in the cave where he told Hinata about his fuzzy little secret and her rather unique reaction, now granted he hadn't told many people so he didn't have much to go on but he certainly hadn't expected her to start bawling.

Then there had been the next day… damn that had been interesting. First there had been the spanking…he really didn't know what to think about that. Then there was his choice of replacement clothes for Hinata, which wasn't really that bad just a little embarrassing in hindsight.

Then there was the incident with the bath that led to Naruto's flash of brilliance to use Kage Bunshin as a training tool and an intimate familiarity with Hinata's anatomy, the strange thing was she didn't seem upset about it. Not that he was complaining but it felt kind of weird since most other girls would be out for his blood…

Then that night he'd made a very interesting discovery…Hinata snuggled in her sleep. Now perhaps she was just cold or something but whatever it was she was very… persistent…again it wasn't that he was complaining.

The next day had started off innocently enough, they woke up, ate, talked for a little while, named their little cave "Camp Hole in the Wall" (surprisingly that had been Hinata's idea), then Naruto had sent like 600 clones off to train. The really interesting part had been when he dispelled the clones… all at once… and put himself into a coma for the next day and a half…yeah wouldn't be doing that again. Dispelling in small groups, now that's the way to go.

After that things had calmed down for the most part with few exceptions.

There were several more useful discoveries, most of them involving some new way to use Kage Bunshin, Naruto's favorite so far was using it with a Henge to get work so that if the clone was detected all it had to do to lose the person was dispel and no one could know for sure it was him, the fact that he could have a small army doing this was an added bonus.

Also there had been a few more embarrassing incidents, including Naruto receiving memories from a clone that had briefly visited an S & M Shop and learned what a spanking was…and Hinata had thought she was the only one who could turn that particular shade of red.

Then there were the occasional training accidents which had mostly been his clones meeting creative and messy ends, or they would have been messy if it weren't clones. Although he had managed to injure himself often enough.

And then there was yesterday…oh boy…

**Flashback**

* * *

_**Yesterday **_

So far it had been a rather tame day at "Camp Hole in the Wall" so far Naruto had: gotten up, fed/talked with Hinata, trained (leaving three clones to guard/care for Hinata), come back, fed/talked with Hinata again, and was now training once more when one of his clones dispelled warning him of the "dire" circumstance back at the cave. From what he had gathered from his clone's memory it had been speaking with Hinata when suddenly she'd cut off for no apparent reason other then the dark blood stain spreading across the crotch of her pants…wait.

Suffice it to say that Naruto's training for the day was canceled as he seemingly disappeared in his haste to reach his "injured" friend as his clones attempted to administer first aid.

Meanwhile Hinata was having a rather interesting internal monologue, you see this bleeding was nothing new to her and, due to the more-informative-then-absolutely-necessary "Sex Ed" provided by the academy, shouldn't have been much of a mystery to Naruto either. Judging by the reaction of Naruto's clones however (first panicking and running around like chickens with their head cut off before attempting to administer unnecessary first aid) it was quite obvious that Naruto was in need of her expert help, it was time to give Naruto "The Talk." Of course the fact that she was planning on using herself as a visual aid (he'd already seen it all anyway, might as well tempt him) during such a conversation on the relations between boys and girls might have advantageous effects had absolutely nothing to do with her decision to go into further detail then was absolutely necessary.

So it was that Naruto rushed into the cave and after seeing the situation for himself promptly started pacing trying to think of something his clones had missed. Whatever the wound was it didn't seem too sever if the amount of blood was anything to go by but-

TWUMP

_'The hell? What did I trip over?'_ he thought while looking down to find… Hinata, just calmly lying there in nothing but a shirt and wrist bindings (everything else had been removed for the "first aid"), _'Did she just roll half way across the cave to trip me?'_ he wondered before Hinata started to talk.

"Ok Naruto-kun what just happened to me is what's called a Period and is part of…"

For some reason Naruto couldn't help but feel as though a great doom were about to befall him.

* * *

_**Present Time**_

Now by this point some of you may be wondering why any of what I have just told you is at all important when speaking about what Naruto is reading in a giant ass scroll given to him (if indirectly) by his sensei. In order to completely understand the irony of the situation you must first understand what the scroll was, you see Jiraiya had written down and/or sealed in information on hundreds of useful jutsu (including all of Jiraiya's favorites and a few he'd helped invent), advice for advancing his Taijutsu, ways for him to counter Genjutsu(including the suggestion of entering an anti-genjutsu partnership with the Kyuubi, an idea he'd gotten from information on the Jinchuuriki of Kumo), all the reference material he would need to become a seal master, a multitude of weapons and guides on how to use them, books on strategy for every situation, scrolls on interrogation and reconnaissance, ALL of the fourth's notes and musings that were still in existence, and every training exercise that the crazy hermit could remember or invent, not to mention all the security measures Ero-sennin had put on the stuff he'd sent to ensure it couldn't be lost or stolen. However in addition to all of that Ero-sennin had included a section that Naruto would have found exceedingly useful and would have allowed him to completely avoid that fiasco that Hinata had called "The Talk;" though if he were completely honest with himself he had enjoyed every second of it.

'_Seriously who would've guessed that the old pervert could have something useful to say on the subject without making a complete fool of himself,'_ thought Naruto.

And he had a point Ero-sennin had managed to write what amounted to a book (in addition to several books and scrolls that he had included) detailing all the general information he could ever need about girls, boys, puberty, their relationships, and sex in a wholly coherent and informative manner. He'd even included a set of drawings and diagrams so that Naruto had a visual to go along with everything that his mentor was telling him. He'd even included directions for a simple birth control seal.

Then Naruto got to the bottom of the "All You Will Ever Need To Know About The Fairer Sex" section of the scroll and followed the instructions to release the storage seal there he realized why the pervert of the Sennin hadn't tried to corrupt him before. Now sitting on the floor of the cave was the complete set of "Icha Icha" and a short note…

_There will be a quiz._

_-Ero-sennin_

* * *

**End Notes**

For anyone who didn't get the joke at the beginning Kyuubi is considered a "higher being"


	10. The Curse of Team 7

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Once upon a time there was an author. EDelta88 was what they called him. He didn't own the Naruto series and because of this he was very sad. The End…

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Curse of Team 7****  
**

**"Hm, Konoha again… I'm beginning to see a pattern here."**

_'No shit Sherlock.'_

**"Keep digging Watson."**

_'… am I ever going to win one of these word spars…'_

**"Theoretically it's possible; however, I find the likelihood of such an occurrence coming to pass highly improbable."**

_'Friggin oversized plushie and his overly complicated explanations.'_

**"Did you just call me a plushie, fleshbag?"**

_'What you going deaf or maybe some stuffing in your ears?'_

**"Why you little-"**

* * *

_**Konoha, Hokage's office**_

It's been more then a month now since Naruto's disappearance, word had gotten out that he had left, it was odd really, at first she'd expected requests to mark him as a missing nin to be coming in daily from the council but none had come, later Homura had told her that they had decided that until Naruto showed signs of being a threat to the village they didn't want to make him one (surprisingly Danzo was the one to make that reasoning). Then somehow Hiashi had managed to explain away Hinata's absence without revealing anything… she still had no idea how he'd managed it, maybe there was some hidden aspect of the Hyuuga bloodline that made one a master bullshitter.

All in all things weren't nearly as bad as she'd expected them to be, most people were off her back, the paperwork wasn't multiplying like rabbits, everything seemed to be going well… too well in fact. Somehow she just knew this wasn't going to last but none of the usual bad omens were showing up so whatever was probably wouldn't be too bad, most likely just a pain in her ass.

Either way, here she was sitting in her office, sipping sake, doing paperwork, and wondering why everything seemed to be turning on its head when Jiraiya popped through the window, "Seriously does no one use a door anymore," she muttered.

"Oh lighten up hime," he said, "besides I have some information that might interest you."

"Oh?" she asked, perhaps his spy network had picked up something on Naruto?

Sadly, no such luck.

"I've been getting some weird reports, at first I thought there had to be a mistake but after some double checking it seems that our old teammate is-" but before he could finish a booming voice carried over the entire village.

"JIRAIIIYAAAA!!!"

"-headed this way," Jiraiya finished lamely, not a moment later Tsunade's door was kicked open and in waltzed Orochimaru with a very confused looking Sasuke in tow. Evidently Orochimaru using the front door was just so outrageous a tactic that everyone had been too stunned to stop him from walking all the way through the village and into the Hokage's office.

"Jiraiya, your idiot student if fucking up the Team 7 Plot Dynamic!" Orochimaru raged getting right in the surprised sennin's face.

Jiraiya blinked before intelligently responding, "Um... what?"

"The Plot Dynamic you WHITE HAIRED NINNY! I EXPLAINED THIS _YEARS_ AGO!!!" Orochimaru screamed before going off on a tangent about what an idiot Jiraiya was and how his idiocy was fucking up the cosmic order of the universe.

As this was happening Tsunade sat behind her desk completely dumbfounded by the situation she found herself in, her former teammate, one of the most infamous missing nin in the history of the Hidden Villages had just walked into her office and was chewing Jiraiya out... what the fuck? She turned to Sasuke, "You know what this is about?"

Sasuke shook his head, "A few days ago he got word that Naruto had left Konoha and then he well…" he motioned to where the Hebi Sennin was still verbally abusing Jiraiya.

It was at this moment that the sheer audacity of the situation wore off and Tsunade remembered just who it was she was talking too, "You got a lot of guts walking back in here after what you pulled," she growled while glaring at the young Uchiha.

Sasuke blinked, "Eh?"

"Running away to a known enemy of the village, attempting to kill your teammate-" she began only for Sasuke to interrupted her before she could really get into her stride.

"Attempting to kill my teammate? What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke asked confusedly.

This only upset Tsunade more, "I'm talking about that little stunt of yours shoving Chidori through Naruto's chest!" she snapped.

Sasuke sweat dropped giving her a deadpan look, "You've fought with Naruto before…right?" he asked.

Tsunade nodded wondering where this was going, this is not at all how she had pictured this going… then again she'd never expected Uchiha (much less Orochimaru) to walk right into her office.

"Then you should know just how fucking resilient he tends to be," Sasuke explained, still using a calm tone.

Tsunade blinked, "You mean you weren't trying to kill him?"

Sasuke shook his head, "If there is one thing I've learned about Naruto it is that he does _not_ stay down. So no, if I _had_ wanted to kill him I'd need something a LOT bigger then Chidori. In fact I'll bet everything I did only kept him down for a couple of days."

Again Tsunade blinked (that seemed to be happening a lot today), that was true the wounds that Sasuke had inflicted had only been an issue for a day or two, it had been the backlash from using Kyuubi's chakra that had really been a problem, "But how do you explain running off to join Orochimaru?"

Frowning at the older woman Sasuke replied, "It's not like I was planning on staying forever, I needed to find a way to control my curse seal otherwise I was a liability and anything else I learned was just a bonus, once that was done I would have just come back here."

Now it was Tsunade's turn to sweat drop, "You had that all planned out… and you didn't think to tell any of us about this why?"

Sasuke blinked, "Oh…"

Throwing her hands up in exasperation Tsunade cries, "'Oh' he says, almost gets himself marked as a missing nin, causes no end of paperwork and headaches for me, directly and indirectly puts five of his peers in the hospital, and all he can say is 'Oh'… where's my sake?" she mumbles while digging through the drawers of her desk only to resurface a few moments later with a fresh bottle just as Orochimaru finished his tirade, "Oh and you! What the fuck has your panties in a twist? I suppose you have some convoluted, fantastic, and overly complicated yet oddly believable explanation for walking into my office when there is an enormous price on your head?"

"His student is fucking with the Plot Dynamic," Orochimaru growled, pointing an accusing finger at Jiraiya.

Rolling her eyes at his childish antics, "I keep hearing about this, "Plot Dynamic" was it? What the fuck is it?"

Sighing in defeat and grumbling about people who don't listen the first time Orochimaru explained, "The Team 7 Plot Dynamic is… well I guess you could call it a curse," he began, "through a phenomenon in the Konoha logistics system there has only ever been one Team 7 per generation, the cell always consists of, as I have labeled them: The Genius, The Idiot, and The Fangirl-"

"I wasn't that bad," Tsunade grumbled.

"Yes you were," Jiraiya and Orochimaru chorused.

Then, continuing as though there hadn't been an interruption, "- and is always lead by a member of the previous Team 7. Each Team 7 is destined for two things, greatness and tragedy. I've managed to narrow down their specific roles somewhat, though it seems that the role can also be accomplished indirectly…" he paused looking around, "Do you have any large sheets of paper or a dry erase board around here I need to make a flow chart."

"One sec," Jiraiya muttered as he brought out his giant scroll, "Lets see here, I know I have it here somewhere, tent… ink… pencils… ah here it is," he said unsealing a large pad of paper attached to a tripod, then noticing Tsunade was staring at him he asked, "What?"

"Friggin boy scout," she muttered to which Jiraiya just smiled before handing the board and a marker over to Orochimaru.

"Thank you, now before I get started with the roles there have been five Team 7s to date, First there was Team Senju under the Senju brothers consisting of Sarutobi-sensei and the current elders Koharu and Homura. Then came the three of us," he pointed to Tsunade, Jiraiya, and himself all the while writing out the Team 7 Timeline, "under Sarutobi-senei. After that was Jiraiya's team with Hyuuga Hiashi, Namikaze Minato, and Unoha Fu. Then Minato taught, Obito, Rin and Kakashi who went on to teach the current Team 7. "

"Anyway the roles go as so," Orochimaru said, "The Genius will always in some way shape or form abandon the team. The Idiot will prove to be a late bloomer and become one of the greatest ninja of the generation, he will also in some way shape or form bring The Genius back to the team, and will always die in battle usually to achieve a sacrificial victory. The Fangirl will eventually clean up her act becoming one of the strongest Kunoichi of her generation and will be seen as a role model by the future generations. Any questions?"

"Uchiha Obito died before becoming a Jounin," Tsunade pointed out.

"True," Orochimaru admitted, "but his eye is what allows Kakashi-kun to be the Copycat ninja so _indirectly _Obito is the Copycat."

"You're counting Homura as The Genius of sensei's team, right?" Jiraiya asked, Sarutobi-sensei had said that he was a late bloomer after all, Orochimaru nodded, "How did he abandon the team?"

"Mission went bad, he fucked up, shit happened, he decided to quit, then Sarutobi-sensei showed him some tough love and all was better," he quipped causing Tsunade and Jiraiya wince, they remembered their sensei's "Tough Love" all too well.

"I'm assuming you're citing Hiashi's obsession with becoming the perfect clan head as his abandonment and Minato dragging him to a bar as bringing him back?" Jiraiya asked, Orochimaru nodded.

"Hey wasn't that the incident where Hiashi and Hikari got together?" Tsunade asked.

Jiraiya grinned, "Yep."

Yet another nuance of the Hyuuga bloodline it seemed, and that Minato had inadvertently exposed, was that the men of the Hyuuga clan can't hold their liquor to save their life while the woman get _very_ hot and bothered… and aggressive.

Smiling at the memory Tsunade turned back to Orochimaru, "Next question, how do you expect to "Return to the team" with all the shit you've pulled?"

Orochimaru just stared at her blankly, "…You haven't read the Ongoing Black Ops files… have you."

Tsunade blushed, "Well no with everything that's been going on I haven't had the…wait," her eyes turned to the sized of dinner plates before narrowing dangerously, "are you telling me that all of this shit from you for the past decade has been one elaborate mission?" she asked in a tone that could freeze saltwater.

Starting to fidget nervously Orochimaru nodded.

"And that all of the evidence of your crimes against Konoha that caused you to leave was fabricated?" she continued, slowly rising from her chair

"Y-yes," he answered fearfully.

"And that all your illegal operations, experiments, and actions against Konoha fabricated or otherwise during that time were done with the knowledge and approval of the Sandaime?" now she was bearing down on her old teammate.

By this point Orochimaru was sweating bullets as he backed away from the enraged Hokage.

"Am I also to assume that during all this time that you never thought to tell either of us about this?"

Orochimaru blinked, "…Oh."

Rubbing her temples in a valiant effort to control her temper, "'Oh' he says, it would seem that another aspect of The Genius is they forget the little things," she mutters as she walks back to her desk, "My last question, what was the purpose of the Suna/Oto invasion?"

"Mostly it was a mass assassination of anti-Konoha elements on all sides," Orochimaru answered, "It also served so remind a great many that just because were are not at war does not mean we can afford to be lazy."

"And killing Sarutobi-sensei?"

"He was terminally ill, all his smoking finally caught up with him and he didn't want to die in a hospital bed. Had we fought a month earlier I have no doubt that he would have sealed more than just my arms, bit overboard with the realism though."

It was at this point that a thought struck Jiraiya, "You said that the roles could be completed indirectly right?" he asked, eye's sparkling mischievously.

"…Yes," Orochimaru responded cautiously, he did not like that look in Jiraiya's eye, nothing good ever came of that look.

"In that case my work is done," he said, leaning back into his chair and smiling smugly, "Oh and Naruto's too," he added.

Orochimaru blinked, "Say what now?"

If possible Jiraiya's grin got even more smug, "You are here because of _my_ 'Idiot Student' therefore, indirectly, I have brought you back and because you brought Sasuke with you Naruto as the cause of you coming back has, indirectly, brought Sasuke back."

Orochimaru blinks staring amazedly at Jiraya, "So your genius _does_ encompass more than literature," everybody stares dumbfounded at him, "What? Did you think I was gay or something? That tongue trick of mine wasn't originally for combat."

* * *

**End Notes**

Ok I just realized something I have more alerts for this story then I do reviews, what's up with that?

* * *

CHALLENGE

If anyone can write a better version of Hiashi's freakout episode in "It Just Sank In" I will replace the scene.

* * *

The Team 7 Plot Dynamic

The Genius(overly serious), the Idiot(late bloomer), and the Fan Girl

There is only ever one Team 7 per generation (some phenomenon of logistics…no one can explain it)

Team Senju

Team Sarutobi

Team Jiraiya

Team Minato

Team 7

The Genius always somehow abandons the team

Homura: a mission went bad (Homura screwed up) and he was going to leave the team

Orochimaru: went missing nin

Hiashi: left the team to take over the clan, basically immersed himself in becoming the perfect leader

Kakashi: mission first comrades later

Sasuke: went to Orochimaru for power

The Idiot rises to become one of the greatest of his generation (occasionally indirectly, ie Obito) always dies in battle going out in the proverbial blaze of glory and always somehow manages to bring the genius back.

Sarutobi: Hokage, died against Orochimaru, smacked Homura around and dragged his sorry ass back

Jiraiya: Sennin, death is pending, brought Oro back indirectly through Naruto

Minato: Hokage, died sealing the fox, dragged Hiashi out of the compound and got him drunk (that's how Hiashi met his wife)

Obito: He's half of the copycat, died saving Kakashi, his death's effect on Kakashi and giving him his eye

Naruto: a work in progress, to be determined, his actions got Orochimaru to return bringing Sasuke with him

The Fan Girl: eventually cleans up her act and becomes a powerful Kunoichi and a role model for future generations of Kunoichi.


	11. Stockholm Syndrome

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

Whoever told you that I own Naruto is either a liar or about to become my new best friend.

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Stockholm Syndrome **

**"And back to you and the vixen, the pattern is confirmed."**

_'Wait, is this the part where she…'_

**"Why yes, I do believe it is."**

_'Shit…Just great, we get to relive _more_ of my most mortifying memories… and wipe that smirk of your face jack ass.'_

**"A donkey am I?"**

_'Again with the fucking word play!'_

**"That's interesting, how exactly do you have intercourse with word play?"**

_'…'_

**"…"**

'_Hey fox.'_

**"…What?"**

_'You know how I seem to find ways to do the impossible?'_

**"…Yes."**

_'Well for my next trick, I shall find a way to kill energy, namely you.'_

**"…You know that actually makes me a little nervous…well done brat. I'm proud of you."**

* * *

_**River Country, Camp Hole in the Wall**_

As the Sannin were getting reacquainted with eachother back in Konoha, Naruto sat on a rock in the light of the setting sun reading a lecture that Jiraiya had written for him about philosophies of ninja life as Hinata exercised nearby under the watchful eyes of his Kage Bunshin (he'd learned from some of his other study materials that too little activity was bad for your health).

_A ninja is (or should be) very good at taking life, it is one of the most basic pillars of our profession. As a result this should give us an intimate understanding of just how fragile life is and how short it can be. Take life if you must, that is your job, but cherish and enjoy it where possible because all the more for it. , there may be no tomorrow…_

As he read his mind brought up images of his missions and battles… Haku and Zabuza… Gara and the invasion… protecting Idate from Aoi… he could sympathize all too well with the point Jiraiya was trying to get across.

_'Those stretches of hers are incredibly distracting,'_ Naruto thought as his eyes were drawn to the movements of his captive's shapely posterior.

_**'And I would bet my tails that that is entirely intentional,'**_ Kyuubi thought with no small amount of amusement, quite frankly he found this whole situation incredibly entertaining, **"They chase you, and they chase you, and they chase you, until you catch them," **he mused absently.

_'You say something?'_

**"Nope, you must be imagining things again."**

Meanwhile Hinata was having a bit of a problem, _'This isn't working,'_ she thought as she finished her exercises and allowed Naruto's clones to bind her before placing her on her mattress Naruto had fashioned for her. For weeks now she'd been trying to make herself as tempting as possible without being blatantly obvious about her intentions. She'd pulled out every trick they'd taught her in the academy and everything else she could think of short of a lap dance and still Naruto hadn't shown any signs of caving past wandering eyes. _'Well, I guess I'll have to get drastic then, not like this wholly unexpected, still frustrating though,' _Hinata thought with a sigh. She'd always known that it wouldn't be easy to get Naruto's attention, but she had held hope that she wouldn't have to be so… coarse.

Glancing in Naruto's direction from her makeshift bed Hinata found the boy completely oblivious to what was going on in his companion's head as he continued to look through the materials Jiraiya had sent him.

Oh well, as the saying goes, "No guts, no glory."

"You know you're not doing this right, right?" Hinata asked, taking the plunge.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, looking up from his reading.

"This whole kidnapping thing," she clarified, "You're not doing it right."

"How do you figure that?" Naruto asked with a small chuckle. Not kidnapping right? Specific mission parameters aside, how could you kidnap someone incorrectly?

"Well usually this is the point at which the kidnapper is generally expected to have his way with his helpless captive," she explained causing every impulse in Naruto's brain to grind to a screeching halt.

**"…Oh my."**

_'Kyuubi? Did she just…?'_ Naruto wondered uncertainly.

**"Suggest that you ravage her like a bitch in heat?"**

'_Not how I would have put it,'_ he thought back, a large drop of sweat sliding down the back of his head.

**"It's the thought that counts."**

_'Maybe I misunderstood her-'_

**"Ok, I know you aren't the fastest finch in the flock but there is no way in the nine circles of hell that even you could misinterpret an advance **_**that**_** blunt," **Kyuubi argued, a biju sized drop of sweat appearing on the side of his head.

_'But this can't be right! She must have that condition where the captive develops feelings and empathy for their captor that I read about yesterday. Uh… Stockholm Syndrome! That's what it was!'_

**"Ok now you're just fishing for a pity party."**

_'But it doesn't make sense! Girls like her don't fall for guys like me! That kind of shit only happens in romance novels and cheesy movies! And this kind of scene only happens in dime store smut like those books Ero-sennin writes! ...Note to self: find and kill the designer that forever defiled orange by using it as the primary color for the cover of Icha Icha.'_

**"And yet it just happened." **

_'And that's why I'm saying that something's wrong!'_ Naruto cried in frustration.

Deciding to try a different tactic the ancient Yoko asked, **"Wasn't it you that decided that you wouldn't be able to judge her with your usual stereotypes?"**

_'Well yeah but-'_

"**And has it not occurred to you that your actions concerning her, encouraging her against girly boy in that little tournament, avenging her on girly boy when she was defeated, going through the trouble to keep her alive when you could have easily killed her and made your escape, and caring for her needs in the time thereafter to name a few, may be attractive qualities to a female?" **

'_I guess but-'_

"**And! Is it not possible that she may have heard of your other misadventures, namely the lengths you have gone to protect your home and loved ones, and that, especially when combined with the power you displayed in said misadventures, is attractive to females on an instinctual level?"**

_'I hadn't thought of that but-'_

**"And! That because of the fact that she is, and has confirmed that she is, dissatisfied with the formal and privileged life she was born into that she would seek out a mate that is as far from privileged and formal as she can manage?"**

_'Hey now! I not that ba-'_

**"And! That, given her generally quiet but caring personality, she would find your boisterous façade and tendencies to help others appealing?"**

_'I suppose but-'_

**"And! Is it not possible that, given what we know of her nature, she would find your dominating and protective actions toward her thus far comforting?"**

'_Now I wouldn't go that far-'_

"**And! That, knowing what we do of her views of her self-worth and life experiences, the fact that **_**you**_** find **_**her**_** appealing would be reassuring."**

_'Wait! How does she know-'_

**"And! You **_**do**_** find her attractive, do you not?"**

_'Of course I do, but that's not the-'_

**"And! Am I to assume that you would not, under any circumstances, willingly take actions to purposefully hurt her?"**

_'What kind of question is that?! I'd never-'_

**"And! Is it not true that you enjoy her company?"**

_'Well yeah, she's great but what does that have to-'_

**"And! You do not find the idea of relations of a more intimate nature with her unappealing?"**

_'Well no-'_

** "And! In the past did you not say, in her presence I might add, that any male to claim her would be exceptionally lucky to do so?"**

_'Well the luch she made was really good and-'_

**"And! You would not have any objections to her bearing and or raising your kits?"**

_'Hinata would be a great mother! But I don't see-'_

"**Then! Given that we have established that she has more than enough justification to be attracted to **_**you**_** and that you **_**are**_**, in fact, attracted to **_**her **_**and that you would have no objections to the her ability to fill the major roles as your mate, I, even with my limited knowledge of your culture's mating rituals, see no reason why you should find her advances unreasonable."**

_'But girls don't just ask a guy to "have his way" with her out of the blue like this!_' Naruto argued.

**"And who's to say that this is, as you put it, out of the blue? Perhaps you simply missed her earlier advances,"** Kyuubi argued back.

_'What are you talking about?'_ Naruto snapped. Earlier advances? He would have noticed if Hinata was coming onto him… right?

Giving a deep rumbling sigh Kyuubi explained, **"As I said before my knowledge on the subject of you culture's mating rituals, and those of your species in general, is rather limited. However, from what I've observed, both while I was still free and as part of you, I've noticed that your females tend to allow the males they are attracted to more… freedom, in their actions toward them."**

_'What's your point?'_ Naruto sighed. Where was Kyuubi going with this?

**"That there are things that females will let their mates, or potential mates, to do that they won't let other males do,"** Kyuubi clarified, but, seeing that Naruto was still confused, he elaborated, **"For example, her initial reaction when she woke up aside, she wasn't as distraught as one would expect someone in her position to be when you kidnapped her."**

_'That could just mean that she wasn't worried because I explained that I was planning to let her go,'_ Naruto pointed out.

**"But it does not explain her ease with the situation considering that the only assurance she had and has of her safety, and potential release, is your word. For all she knows you could have just said that so that she'd make your job easier."**

_'I never go back on my word,'_ Naruto growled, not liking the fox's implications.

**"Your morals were not in question, I was simply stating that she does not have any guaranties that you will actually keep your word but still trusts that you will. Think about it, she has been taken her home and is completely at your mercy yet she seems completely at ease with her vulnerability, comfortable even."**

_'That just shows that she trusts me.'_

**"Which is the basis of an intimate relationship,"** Kyuubi said, a victorious grin splitting his jowls.

_'Or any relationship, it doesn't necessarily imply… stuff,' _Naruto argued.

**"Fair enough I suppose. But then there are other irregularities. Take your stereotype for a female's reactions when a male touches her intimately or sees her while she is not wearing those rags you flesh bags are so fond of. Generally they become upset to some degree or another, however, you saw her completely nude and before that you had touched her back side and undressed her while she was unconscious. Given your actions the expectation would be for her to be upset with you, yet she seemed more flustered than angry, a reaction that, I have noticed, many females share when they are attracted to the male in question, I can only assume that they are more worried about whether he found her to his liking than about an invasion of personal boundaries."**

'_It still doesn't make sense! I mean she's practically royalty, what do I have to offer her?'_ Naruto wondered, still struggling with the idea that a girl like Hinata could be attracted to a nobody like him.

**"RAAAAAHHH!" **Kyuubi roared in frustration,** "HOW CAN YOU BE SO-GAAAH!!! You know what do what you want, but be warned when this blows up in your face I am going to mock you like you can't even imagine! Curse that blond rat, why couldn't he have given me a female host?! Then I would have to bother with all this nonsense, I could just groom her to be **_**my**_** mate instead of trying to-"**

Tuning Kyuubi out Naruto looked around to find that he had been talking to the aged demon a lot longer than he had realized because at some point the sun had set and, as his eyes found her form laid across the bedding he'd set up for her, it looked as though Hinata had been asleep for quite some time. For the longest time he just sat there, staring at her as he rolled ideas around in his head, trying to find a solution to his new dilemma, but as the stars faded he still couldn't find a plan that he found completely satisfying and the sun's rays appeared in the east it looked like he was going to have to resort to his usual standby.

Wing it

* * *

**End Notes**

Ah that was fun once I got the ball rolling.

Well here it is the turning point for Naruto and Hinata. From this point on everything starts to get interesting crazy.


	12. Fox Hunt

Blah blah blah: regular text

"Blah Blah Blah" regular speech

'_Blah Blah Blah'_ regular thought or flashback

"**Blah Blah Blah" **Kyuubi/demonic or summon talking

_**'Blah Blah Blah' **_Kyuubi/demonic or summon thinking

You can tell I don't own Naruto by how outrageous Shippuden has become.

* * *

**Who's the Hostage**

**By: EDelta88**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Fox Hunt **

**"I still can't believe that you didn't listen to me."**

_'You don't need to rub it in ya know.'_

** "But the logic-"**

_'I know.'_

** "And you could have-"**

_'I know!'_

** "And she wanted-"**

_'Hey look! A new flashback!'_

** "The proper use of that joke is, "Hey look! A distraction""**

_'…No seriously, there's another flashback.'_

** "That is beside the point, we are discussing your blatant stupidity not images of things we already know about."**

_'But this one's from Konoha.'_

** "You make a fair point…"**

_'Yes!'_

** "…we shall postpone our evaluation of your obvious lack of common sense and sex drive when the images switch back to you and your mate."**

_'Damnit! Wait-what-MATE?'_

* * *

_**Konoha**_

In one of the many plazas within Konoha's commercial district Uchiha Sasuke had found a relatively quiet spot where he could sit and think. It had been a trying number of months since he had become a gennin, especially recently.

When Orochimaru's spies had brought news of Naruto's defection he couldn't believe it, but after this afternoon…

**Flashback**

* * *

_**Hokage's Office**_

"I'm issuing an ongoing Investigation and Retrieval mission to your team. Your target, as you no doubt have guessed, is your wayward teammate Uzumaki Naruto, under normal circumstances we would either send a hunter squad to retrieve him or ignore him entirely. However, for a number of reasons, these are not normal circumstances. Because of these… unique circumstances you were deemed most fit for this mission. Your primary objectives are to find him and make contact, preferably convince him to return and, failing that, establish a reliable mode of correspondence. Kakashi will brief you on the specifics."

* * *

"Well," Kakashi began, "until we get a lead there's not much we can investigate, so Jiraiya-sama will be handling that for the moment. Once he finds something he'll send word at which point we will join him," he explained. "Until then we will be training. Any questions?"

"Um why were we chosen for this?" Sakura asked, "We aren't trackers. Sure we have your ninken but wouldn't one of the scouting or tracker teams be more appropriate?"

"Were it any other gennin? Yes. However, Naruto is not any other gennin. Make no mistake, if Naruto feels threatened he will disappear and there will be no telling how long it will take for him to show up again," Kakashi explained, his tone deadly serious.

Sakura's face contorted in confusion, "What do you mean "disappear" sensei? This is Naruto we're talking about, he wears florescent orange, he can't be _that_ hard to find."

"On the contrary Sakura, Naruto can be very hard to find," Kakashi contradicted.

"But-" Sakura began, only for Sasuke to interrupt her.

"Think about it Sakura, he escaped the village during one of the highest alerts in our history completely undetected, with a hostage."

"Correct. Naruto has extremely advance skills in infiltration and evasion with an in depth knowledge of tracking and how to counter it. His choice of clothing allows him to fade into a crowd with a simple henge, hiding in plain sight, and that's if you are able to find him in the first place," Kakashi explained.

"Oh, come on sensei, he can't be that good," Sakura mumbled, thinking he was exaggerating.

"Did Naruto ever tell you how he became a gennin?" he asked, Sakura shook her head, "He infiltrated the Hokage tower and stole the Scroll of Seals without being detected until the Sandaime stumbled across him, and he still escaped. Add to that his talent for Kage Bunshin and his extensive experience in the field from his pranking carrier and he is one of the most difficult people to find that you will ever meet," he explained, leaving the two gennin flabbergasted. "Because of this our best, and possibly only, chance would be to approach him in a manner as non-threatening as possible, essentially we get him to come to us, that's why us specifically," Kakashi explained.

"Because we're his team?" Sakura asked, starting to see where this was going.

"It's not quite that simple, but that is a very large part of it," the silver haired jounin explained before elaborating, "Naruto's scared, he doesn't know exactly what Konoha's reaction will be, so he will assume the worst until proven otherwise. If we were to send a hunter team or even another gennin team he would assume they were hostile he would go to ground. We are familiar, he knows us, and more importantly he knows how to react to us so he will be more likely to give us a chance to talk to him. "

"Then why not just send you sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Think about it Sakura, a single Jounin could be misinterpreted as any of a list of possibilities, for example the fact that we sent only one, highly skilled, ninja could be viewed by someone in his position as an attempt to remain undetected in order to ambush him. On the other hand, a jounin and two gennin would appear more open, as though we aren't trying to hide our presence from him."

"And since we're his old team he'd be more likely to trust us," Sakura concluded.

"Exactly," Kakashi said, nodding.

* * *

**Flashback End**

Naruto was gone… how in the nine hells had that happened?

If someone had told him six months ago that Naruto of all people would leave the village for _any _reason, he would have had them committed. Naruto was loyal to a fault. Hell, he was sure that if he had turned into some homicidal psycho out to burn the village to the ground Naruto still would have tried to save him… and he probably would have succeeded.

It was just the kind of person Naruto was.

But it had happened and Naruto was gone.

What Sasuke couldn't figure out was the why. Why had Naruto left? Why now?

Tap

Tap

Tap

Sasuke was drawn out of his thoughts as he became aware of a rather insistent foot tapping infront of him. He cringed mentally, he was not looking forward to this conversation…

Tap

Tap

Tap

Well, he couldn't avoid her forever.

Glancing up, he found Sakura standing infront of him, arms crossed as she glared down at him.

"Um…hi?" he greeted uncertainly.

"Hi?" Sakura hissed, "Hi? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes?" he asked uncertainly. What did she want him to say? Yo, lets just forget that I knocked you out and left you on a bench before running off to one of our home's greatest "enemies" and got most of our friends sent to Urgent Care. Yeah, that would go over really well.

"You knocked me out and ran away without telling us why! You ran off to Orochimaru! You almost killed Naruto, and that's the best you've got?" she shrieked.

"Hn..." Sasuke grunted, trying to stall for time by looking away from her moodily, hoping to trigger the fangirl in her and give him more time to think of an answer.

"You... ASSHOLE!" Sakura screamed, hitting him with a vicious uppercut that sent him somersaulting through the air.

_'What the-'_ Sasuke wondered. Sakura had just hit him? Sakura had hit him! And it hurt? What the hell?

As he was flying up into the tree's branches, he realized that he should have taken his mother's advice that time. After all, would apologizing have hurt anything other than his pride? He was fairly certain it would have hurt a lot less than the current amount of pain in his jaw.

"Shannaro!" Sakura cried, appearing in front of Sasuke before delivering a punishing right hook to his jaw.

_'When the hell did she get so strong?'_ Sasuke wondered as he bounced along the ground. _'Oh right, she trained with Tsunade..._' he remembered just as he felt his assailant grip the back of his shirt and fling him into a tree.

"Why?" Sakura demanded, appearing in front of him again, her hand clamped around his throat.

"Wh-what?" Sasuke choked, still dazed as he tried to break her grip.

"Why?" Sakura screamed, throwing him to the ground and straddling his chest, pinning his arms with her thighs.

"Sakura-"

"Why did you have to leave?" she cried.

Left Hook

"Why didn't you let us help you?" she sobbed.

Right Hook

"Why Orochimaru?"

Left

"Why?"

Right

On and on it went, Sakura beating her former crush black and blue until she finally collapsed onto him, completely exhausted. For the longest time, they lay there. Sasuke was too hurt to move, Sakura too tired.

"Why did you thank me?" Sakura whispered finally.

"You cared," he replied hoarsely.

"That's it? All this crap and I get a two word answer?" she asked.

"I've had a long day and you just beat the shit out of me. Forgive me if I'm not feeling preachy at the moment," he muttered sarcastically.

"Why didn't you fight back?"

"I deserved it," he replied, not meeting her gaze.

"You just don't want to admit that I got you," Sakura snickered.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted.

* * *

**End Notes**

Yes, I know it's short but this chp was never going to be anything epic so meh.


End file.
